I think that the wellbutrin might be helping me more now that the prozac is completely out of my system. That may have been the wrong medication for me all along since my depression was a result of the wreckage ADHD has caused in my life. I’m also taking ritalin now, I think the combo of wellbutrin with the generic ritalin (methyphenidate’s) might be good enough. I think it’s been about 3 or 4 months.
I just have to be willing to take the dang pills on schedule, n quit being rebellious about keeping this thing simple. Part of me is very sick of medications. I think that’s my pride, it’s actually just as easy to swallow as the pills. The rest is a matter of education and acceptance of certain limitations on how fast I’m able to learn new ways to do life. I would like to get more help from medications. I’ll ask my doc for 5mg methylphenidate 4 times a day instead of 3, but I think I should just try to be satisfied with the little bit of help I’m getting thus far with medication. I won’t let myself get caught up in the endless search for the right combo of pills. Being satisfied with my progress is the real work now. I’m not even that sure I want to increase the dose, I’ll decide in a couple weeks when I see my doc.
The education about ADHD might be finally sinking in. Less struggling to get what I want but can’t have is allowing me more energy to succeed in new ADHD friendly goals. My poo still smells, I just have better ways to deal with it. I just talk with you guys.
It’s still not true that “I just needed to try harder”, I just need to try different. A long term result of spending time here reading is seeing what symptoms are really ADHD, and what symptoms are not. I don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble, but it’s possible to have terrible ADHD, and also have some tendencies to be really lazy!. Shoot you guys, we’re all human. One of my biggest obstacles has been blaming too many of my human problems on ADHD. It’s just not the all in one excuse I kinda felt thrilled to find out about in the beginning. I also have less anger about being misdiagnosed, maybe I got diagnosed by a stupid, lazy, n crazy person!. Who doesn”t even have ADHD to blame it on, huh?, stranger things have happened to weirder folks…
About half of the problems I’ve struggled with were not strictly ADHD. It was me taking bong hits instead of dealing with life when I was 17, unlike all the kids with parents that… umm, never mind. Almost started blaming my parents again, whoops!.
I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD, but definitely used to, and sometimes still do struggle with that crap. Various addictions have taken their toll on my ability to succeed. I still get distracted by curvaceous ladies, less though 
, I probably have low T!, but I don’t give a rats butt. I think I’ve gotten too carried away with self diagnosis, and excuses. Endless time spent focusing on me me me!. It turns out I’m just another screwy human being fighting for my place in the world. My Ego want’s to be special, and focus on how gifted I am, but I’m finding it easier to let go of wanting to be famous. It’s not the end of the world to be just another regular dude. Trying to make the world just a little bit better on my path. Humble as it my turn out to be. I’m not longer worried.
We all struggle to drag our scraggly butts outa bed in the morning, that’s the human condition for about 70% of us isn’t it?. I’m okay with my life not turning out to be a super dooper action adventure story. I’ll sure have some adventures in spite of my regularity I’m sure, maybe I’ll catch a few totally tubular barrels sometime in the next few years, (that’s surfer lingo if you didn’t recognize it). I’ll let ya’all know if that happens.
Hmmm, maybe I’ll start writing a blog just like almost 2 billion other folks on the Internet… nah, I’ll probably just write long posts here like I’ve always done. Just a lil less. Sound cool you guys?, okay, good. TTYL
Peace
wups! almost forgot, today is 7-11-12.
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