As someone in a situation scarily similar to MissMuffins, I’m not seeing this as a side-thread to ADD gift or not. Regardless of how you see your positive traits, the fact remains that if you are co-habitating with someone who exhibits the same ADD traits that you have and who refuses to acknowledge them, life is a royal pain in the you know what! I think the issue here is what to do about the negatives.
We all know communication is an important factor in a relationship whether ADD is present or not. Throw in two people where one of them likes to stick their head in the sand when it comes to difficult emotions and I will readily admit it’s no gift! The question is how do you get this person in denial to open up and explore what’s really contributing to the problem areas in the relationship? i have no idea, have tried it all except marriage counselling so far. ironically, I just had a “conversation” with my husband yesterday where I told him once again living with him is no picnic and difficult. He had the nerve to act surprised and then told me I talk too much and dominate conversations. Well go figure, guess my ADD traits drive him nuts too 
I can identify with many of MissMuffin’s issues and it seems to me that women with ADD will probably end up behaving like the parent in the relationship likely because of our natural inclination to nurture, although that may obviously not be the case in every relationship. I am, however, willing to bet money that this is quite common.
I strive to keep organized but have in no way mastered my paperwork or household . However, at least I try. He on the other hand is a walking organizational disaster and I’m constantly having to pick up the pieces. Be it forgotten bills or what have you. It was like this even before I figured out that I had ADD and got a proper diagnosis. He does not want to acknowledge any of it and thinks it’s a a bunch of pop psychology bunk. It would be nice not to have to be on constant alert mode. ALthough on the other hand I’m lucky that he has the “real” job and goes to work everyday while I am free to pursue my freelance work from home. So at least there’s a balance. Of course, I do all the home maintenance, childcare, etc. etc. Balance? Sometimes I wonder.
Tiddler seems to me you have a relationship that offers a balance of both your traits.
As for those of us living in a relationship where an imbalance creates a communication barrier, I for the moment am taking the tack to try everything. If it fails ,I guess we are left with a put up or get out scenario. I suppose the upside to one partner being aware is that at least one is capable of grabbing the steering wheel and trying to get back on the road. But hell, it would be nice if someone else would remember to put some power steering fluid in the damn car!
Addendum: Sorry i just realized what you meant about a side-thread – I hadn’t read the recent posts on the other thread. ALthough I think if you actually read the above you can see I’m not saying it’s all roses. However, I am anonymous and my husband doesn’t know I post on this site and I’d like to keep it that way So sorry all I can give you is hearsay evidence of it being hell to live with me