Re: What to replace anxiety with to get something done?

[Anonymous]

Not saying this is you but sometimes I hear something similar from the kids I work with. They push themselves hard to get their work done (and yes, it’s a struggle) every single day. Then comes the fateful day where they hear those letters- ‘ADD’.

Then what happens? Exactly as you describe. Outer space. Nothing up there. Lights on, no one home.

When I start trying to light fires under them to get them working I hear things like, “I can’t. I have ADD.” “You can’t expect me to do this. It’s too hard for me. I have ADD.” And so on and so on.

What changed? Just having a diagnosis. Suddenly, they become unable. I think it has more to do with finally realizing there was a reason they’ve struggled to keep up with everyone else. So when they get a diagnosis, it’s almost like forgiving themselves (you know we always beat ourselves up for not doing a good enough job) for always ‘just’ making it in everything they do.

Their diagnosis becomes a huge inward sigh of relief for themselves. Suddenly, they don’t have to hate themselves anymore for not being fast enough at doing their work, not being good enough at something, and they don’t have to beat themselves up all the time for continually messing something up. They give themselves permission to say, “Enough. It’s too much to fight this thing. I tried before but I found out I have ADD and that is a real reason for stuff being so difficult for me. Just stop fighting the inevitable. You can’t do it so don’t even try.”

They have a reason not to work because they’ve decided to stop beating themselves up because there WAS a real reason they ‘couldn’t’. (at least in THEIR minds)

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