Re: What's your superpower? Focusing on the positive

[Wgreen]

@Toofat—

When I use “bargain” in the context of “s/he’s no bargain” I employ an expression that I’ve heard since childhood. It means simply that someone can pose challenges. It’s not meant to be insulting. In fact, it’s a euphemism meant to avoid insult. Most often I hear parents use it to refer to their children, or spouses use it to poke at their significant others:

— Jane, why are you always buying stuff you don’t need?

— Well John, you’re no bargain yourself. i.e., you have faults that bug me, too, so get off my back.

I certainly meant no offense. Clearly your wife loves you very much and has a high regard for you. Still, she offered that you tend to do ADD things that have caused friction. When people from around the world get together on internet bulletin boards, it’s inevitable I suppose that regional usages can cause misunderstandings. I did not mean to be sarcastic.

So why did I suggest a string for significant other input? Because it’s instructive—if enough people participate and if people are honest. The man you love to dismiss, Russell Barkley, says that, in his experience, most adult ADDers either fail to see or hide much of their dysfunctional behavior when questioned. Ask an adult ADDer about his/her life and you get one set of answers. Ask a parent or spouse and you get an entirely different set of answers.

But Barkley aside, my personal family experience with ADD is that it shatters lives, sometimes even leads to suicide. I’ve seen the destruction over and over again with my own eyes. That’s why I’ve been astonished that several people on this board, including yourself, have such radically different perspectives. Now, having heard from your wife, I know she corroborates your own much different narrative. Frankly, it was great to hear.

My best to you both.

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