The Forums › Forums › For The Non-ADD › Relationships › A means to the end? › Reply To: A means to the end?
Most of what I would say has already been said here. But if you are still reading, I’d like to second what Scattybird said. ADHD is no excuse for that kind of behaviour. And neither is OCD, or any other disorder.
It comes down to respect. If he truly respects you, he will stop. Just saying “but I never actually cheated, because of you” is not showing you respect. It’s intended to reasure you and make you feel like you are being respected while he gets to just continue doing whatever he wants.
I know this is a little negative, but…… once a cheater, always a cheater. We all know the statistics and it’s my opinion that cheating once, or even twice, should be forgivable. We all make mistakes, or give in to impulses, once in a while. But 25 times? That is inexcusable. And even if he hasn’t cheated on you physically, he is already doing it mentally and emotionally by emailing and texting those other women.
If it is a psychiatric condition then he needs help. But I don’t think you should place that burden on yourself. And I don’t think you should even consider letting him move into the house you bought until he has seriously and honestly made an effort to change. If you are determined to continue the relationship, then consider couples therapy. But be cautious. Don’t fall for any sweet talk. And don’t let him put you down or turn the tables and make it sound like it’s all your fault.
In other words, don’t let him manipulate you, whether it’s deliberate or not.
REPORT ABUSE