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yassmtm, I’m also stubborn! My husband says I’m stubborn, sensitive, hypersensitive about criticism, and I know I’m easily frustrated and can be snappy when I’m in these moods. And yes, when I lose it, he says I get myself so worked up – I can be wailing like the world is ending! Then, when I look back on the episode, I think wow, what the heck was that all about? Geesh! I used to also get really depressed during these episodes, feeling like a total loser. I’m really done with being like that!
Recently, my husband asked me to put away garden tools that were out (because I used them and didn’t put them away, ahem) because a storm was coming. I thought I got everything, tried really hard to accomplish that goal before he came home. He later approached me and said that I said I had put the tools away but there were still tools laying all over…well, I guess I overlooked some things…
I fell down the rabbit hole…went down to the shop and stormed around putting stuff back, got so worked up I started crying, and then the inner dialogue started about how incompetent I was, useless, a loser…I basically had myself hysterical with all of this…My hubby came and found me like this, and gave me a hug and apologized about being a jerk saying what he said, that he forgot how sensitive I can be, and he was sorry.
I went to a counselor who talked about “grounding” exercises. I have to admit that a) I forget to do it and b) I’m not comfortable doing it, my mind fighting me all the way, trying to squirrel around all over the place…but one time I actually tried to do it when I was feeling I was losing it, and it did help me come back down to earth. Well, today I forgot to do it, AND I was just in such a state I don’t think I could have done it if I’d tried!
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