Reply To: Bad/no relationship experiences?

[Patte Rosebank]

@Xephier, 33 isn’t that old nowadays. Many people are delaying relationships, in order to explore life and find out who they really are, first.

I think the key is really knowing who you are, and what you really want from life, as well as understanding how your ADHD affects all areas of your life.

What are your values?

What’s your approach to life?

What are you really looking for in a relationship?

If you’re not sure, try picturing the person you were at 15, dreaming of your future with your ideal Prince (or Princess) Charming. What was he/she like? What did you picture yourself like?  What things did you picture doing together? How has that vision changed, now that you’re older? (You may be surprised.)

To understand how ADHD can affect relationships, you might want to read some of the other threads in these forums.

There are also some great books on the subject, including this one, by Melissa Orlov:  http://totallyaddshop.com/products/the-adhd-effect-on-marriage-understand-and-rebuild-your-relationship-in-six-steps-paperback#.U0lY11VdWSo .  The information applies to all sorts of relationships, not just traditional marriages.

Once you know how ADHD affects you and your relationships, you can learn how to work with it instead of fighting it. It’s an ongoing process, though, instead of something you can just do, get a result, and then forget about.

Or, you may discover that you’re happiest being single. Whatever works for you.

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