Reply To: Being diagnosed as a child doesn't make life a cake walk

[angelicdemon]

Like your title says how even if they tell you when ur a kid still doesn’t make life easier.I was also diagnosed as a kid.The docs told me i had ADHD but i dont remember when i was told just going off what my mom told me that it was around the age 4-6.Something like that she told me that my pre-school teacher thought i was a demon child,lol.Right now I’m 22yrs old going on 19 mentally,lol.Like what both y’all said about college it’s a big struggle.I tried to go to college after high school but after the first year i felt like no matter how hard i tried i just kept failing and drowning.Kept changing my mind on what career path i wanted to go on seems like a million times a day,lol.I took meds in elementary school  but then in middle school they started to make me feel depressed so i stop taking them.Didnt take anything in high school but then started the summer before college.I swear it Vyvanse is like the most greatest ADHD/ADD med to have ever been made.It’s like a huge life save once u take it correctly,lol.I used to be horrible about remembering to take meds,at a right time,ect.Took me like 2yrs to start taking them right and getting my mind more under control.I ended up having to buy like those med containers that tell wat days of the week and AM/PM. I got it after this one time i ended up blacking out then trying to remember if i took my night meds which i felt like i did.Later around 10pm i started to notice side affects and ended up learning i ended up taking the vyvanse at night.It was horrible because my heart rate sky rocketed,my blood veins felt like they would all explode inside me,shaky as hell,and dizzy.I couldn’t sleep all night but the funny thing was i had a doc appointment that day so i could tell her all about my mess up,lol.Also like the last person said yes the low-self-esteem is a bitch to try and pick urself up with because it’s hard to stop focusing on how sad u feel.Like u feeling that ur just a mistake or burden to any person u meet.Trying to stop thinking that negative and think positive is hard most of the time. Most of the time it works when u just drag urself away from what sad thing ur overly focused about and watch some funny show,cartoon,or anime.Anime’s are pretty good for that because of the funny faces.With my hyperness part of having ADHD i feel like im living a life like anime chars do with the dramatic expressions,face expressions,and crazyness.Which i don’t hate at all i do hope I’m just like an anime char.Sadly i do know that for any guys i get in relationships with after a couple of weeks or months i end up driving them so crazy they run for the hills.Which is depressing at times but then i realized i really didnt have to much of a connection with them ex this one guy im with which i keep fucking up.Which makes me hate myself a lot because he’s awesome as hell and the only person i’ve ever felt comfortable with.Im not sure how well im staying on topic now,lol.Any mawhozals( i dont care that isnt a real word because it’s my word so it stays spelling corrections thingy!) Also i loved the part the guy above said about over energy with the slipping coffee,knocking things over,destroying houses.Sometimes it’s funny to tell others how u want to do that but at times ppl get mad at u for it.Also did anyone else who had ADHD/ADD and still do as an adult……damn it i lost my train of thought of wat i was going to say after…..give me a minute to try and remember……maybe a couple of hours…….NOW I REMEMBER!Ok to wat i said above but adding when you where a kid u didnt have really bad stress/anxiety but then when u became 17 or around that started to developed really huge horrible anxiety and paranoia? I know I’m barely an adult by law not really mentally but i ended up having that issue.Like if i think about having an interview my mind goes crazy with negative thoughts.Like “what if i ask the wrong questions?what if i dont ask important questions at all?Oh god what if i answer what they say wrong?! Oh no even worse i might not understand what they ask me and if i ask them they will get mad and yell and call me stupid.Oh….for…the…love….of….god!!!!!WHAT IF THEY THINK IM CRAZY AND I DONT GET THE JOB!” *spirals down in a pit of disrepair* Yeah i suck at trying to stay cool and not worry if people dont like me and stuff like that.Anyways same as the dude first i just wanted to let ppl know some part of my story of it all.I probably got far off topic but thats ok i was having a rough day to begin with.Started a fight with the dude i’ve been with for almost 2yrs now wich is a world record for me i’ve never made it past a year.Sadly iv’e really hurt him and i feel lower than dirt atm but typing this did help me feel a little better.I hope anyone who reads my crazy writing here smiles to.

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