Reply To: Diagnostics team wants "proof" from childhood

[dithl]

@helenboll — Wow, it would be hard to come up with childhood history. I think for me, I was able to remember procrastinating on assignments and messy notebooks. Talking to my mom about it was just very uncomfortable and not productive. My behaviour wasn’t “out there” like other family members. Being the “easier” child really stinks sometimes. Another “good girl” here. I don’t know if I would have been diagnosed if I had to provide “proof”. And I did very well with school structure, listened to teachers, loved to read, etc.
I hope you are able to sort this out. It really does highlight a problem with diagnosis as adults. Even though the new DSM-V criteria says that some of the symptoms must have been present before the age of 12 instead of the age of 7, for some of us, that kind of history is almost impossible to dig up. Especially considering the genetics that go along with ADHD — there is a good chance that someone who is seeking diagnosis as an adult had a pretty chaotic childhood. (My own case). In a household where clutter and disorganization is the norm, and one or more parent with possibly undiagnosed ADHD, who is going to even *notice* that quiet girl consistently loses pencils to do her homework?? (And then remember that 10, 15, 20 years later).
You said you “felt different” as a child — what about jotting down notes about what made you feel different and then looking through to see if you can connect them with the criteria for ADHD? Not re-writing you childhood to fit the criteria, but going back and looking at different incidents through that lense.
A few of my own examples
— Asking a teacher to help me find my mittens. Which were on my hands.
— Getting hit by a teacher for not listening to her instructions. (I had heard, but not processed her 2nd set of instructions because they contradicted her first set of instructions.)
— It took longer to learn new routines. Which is why in my first days at school they had to direct me away from the boys bathroom *twice*, and explain that boys and girls had different bathrooms in school. (You would think that just one time with that experience would have burned it into my memory!)
— “Is often forgetful in daily activities.” And I thought “I forgot” was just an excuse I used to get out of chores! 😉
— “Often has trouble holding attention on tasks or play activities.” I will never forget the look on my Dad’s face came around the corner to see our goats eating his precious seedlings. Which I had been ordered to guard. (Yes, the goats were just roaming free. Chaos, remember?) Believe me, given my Dad’s temper, I would have been highly motivated to protect those seedlings. But…seedlings don’t MOVE at all. OR sparkle. Obviously something else more interesting caught my attention.

Seems like grasping at straws, but maybe it would help? For me, most of the funny or just downright bizarre family stories about my Dad were textbook ADHD. At least that helped to show the history. For my own examples, thinking about when people reacted to me helps dig out the examples of my own “off-beat” behaviour, even though it was much more quiet and subtle.

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