Reply To: Do you ever get off your meds for a few days and start to question…

[cropmom]

Weighing in here on a few items raised above.

First, I stopped taking my meds about 2 months ago. My counselor knows, but now my doctor. After a year of being on them, with a few intermittent breaks, I didn’t really think they were helping.  I also started to notice I felt ‘wired’ and shaky at times.  It seemed to be getting worse, so I decided to stop and really see how much it was helping.

I suspect I need to try a different medication, but am not ready to do that just yet.  It just takes too much effort.  I’m working on other health issues first. The meds didn’t do what I thought they would do.  In my denial and ignorance, I thought they would make my ADD go away.  LOL  I now know that ‘pills don’t teach skills.’ But the meds didn’t seem to help me implement the skills.  There was just too much overwhelm.

Which leads me to the comments about having 17 projects going at once. (I love how hullupoika described it.) That is totally me.  I have had so many successes, high achieving, etc. in my former jobs.  I was demoted once for ‘lack of soft skills’– which I see was totally my ADD, but didn’t know anything about then.

I can get in such a funk about all of these projects around me, many of them are incomplete.  I don’t work, except for the writing and blogging I try to do and the multiple church obligations I have.  (Ok, I guess I really do work, I just don’t get paid for anything.) I’m actively saying ‘no’ to the new ideas and projects that come my way.  And by come my way, I mean I make them up in my mind (I could do that) or I hear of a valid need (I could volunteer for that).

At times it feels like I am cutting off a body part.  I am living in a lot of angst about ‘not doing.’  I am incredibly bored.  I miss the excitement.  I am being more ‘responsible’ around the house and participating more in chores, etc.  I suppose this is progress.  But I definitely feel like I am fighting myself and my natural wiring.  Maybe the medication would help in some way, especially with the anxiety I am feeling about all of this.

What I really want is for the ideas to stop popping into my brain and to be able to discern what to act on, how to organize my thoughts, etc.  That is probably what anyone with ADD wants.  I want balance in my life.

Sorry if this is off-topic.  Thanks for listening.

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