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oh ya before I lit up a cigarette everything had to be just right. I needed a beverage (not necessarily alcohol, just something wet). I needed to be not to warm or cold. The lighting had to be just right. I think I knew that one day I would never have a cigarette again. Almost like I needed to enjoy every one like it would be the last.
I never realized how much other people needed as a quick fix stress reliever. I did always think it was strange my husband needed to pull over on the way up to the cottage for a smoke. Wouldn’t he rather get up there sit on the deck, over look the sunset reflecting off the lake, and then have a nice smoke and a drink?
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