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The Forums Forums I Just Found Out! I Suspect I Am just joined.do i have adhd ?? Reply To: just joined.do i have adhd ??

#122892

mez
Member
Post count: 5

Memikee, I am 58 and my 19-year-old daughter has just been diagnosed with ADD.
You sound just like me, except I am able to hyperfocus on books – thrillers or really interesting books. I read at least 200 books a year and always have done. I read an entire children’s encyclopaedia at the age of six, when I was left alone for two months. I was being cared for physically, but I was so confused and alone the books (the only reading matter these people had) were an escape.

I have no patience with myself or others. I kick cars, auto-checkout machines, and the other day I killed my keyboard.
My rage and frustration can be triggered by the tiniest things. I’ve been self-medicating with cannabis since I was 17 because it helps me to see the big picture. I can be FURIOUS with someone, then have a smoke and realise my fury is misplaced – I’m really, REALLY pissed at MYSELF.
Road rage and public rudeness are everyday occurrences for me. I wake in the morning, say “Oh, fuck,” and go back to sleep. Sometimes I can manage another two or three hours’ sleep before I have to get up and face another confusing, frustrating day.
I”ve always known my reading is abnormal and an escape from reality, but now looking back on my life I realise I have failed at everything I ever did. I could be really excited and interested in class, then I would just vague off and forget all about it.
When I leave a job, I don’t just burn my bridges; I blow them into rubble.
Last week I was diagnosed with Bipolar Lite after 40 minutes with a shrink whose pet speciality is Bipolar Lite. All shrinks have their favourites. She prescribed Seroquel. I haven’t taken it.
I think if I’d ever had a manic or hypomanic episode I would at least have cleaned the house, which is what shits me the most.
I am now certain I have ADD and have had it all my life.
Somewhere I have all my old childhood school reports and thinking about them now, I realise they have “ADD” written all over them. They would help with a diagnosis and I even know where they are – in my walk-in wardrobe, which is stacked up to the ceiling with stuff – so much so I can’t find my clothes.
There is no way I could find them alone.
I would far rather be mad than bad. If I DON’T have ADD, then I am the laziest and worst person in the world. My husband did the hard yards of parenting. Luckily my children understand there is something wrong with me and love me anyway.
Crying now; gotta go.

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