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I have a hard time saying no, and a history of attracting weird friends I feel compelled to rescue, probably because it feels safer to be around people who seem to need me or appear more desperate or damaged.
Not good.
Lately, I am just not being social. I have my immediate family, and don’t reach out beyond it. The outcomes are never good. I feel overwhelmed in the presence of others, even if they have no expectations.
Not saying no is manipulative. The search for approval is manipulative. At times encouragement and support are very hard to come by, though, so it seems natural to move in that direction, even if it is unhealthy.
It’s easier to just not get involved in social situations, as I end up tired, overwhelmed, confused, anxious, and feel inadequate. If I’m going to be a source of disappointment, why set myself up for that?
The other dynamic involves the way I can get motivated by external triggers – such as when someone else has a need, crisis, etc. – but have a much harder time getting motivated on my own behalf.
I can’t be an ambulance driver or a fire fighter, but that’s the type of mentality I have.
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