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Author Christina Eckert describes it as the “Mother Teresa Syndrome”…taking on a second career trying to save people or make their lives better at your own expense. Volumes can (and have) been written about people who burn themselves out trying to make others feel good. The good news is, you have no obligation to continue the behavior if you find it sacrifices too much of your time, energy, and even sanity.
I had a therapist who helped me confront my own sacrificing my own happiness to make others happy. She asked why I do it. I said that I give into others because it seems rude not to try to make them happy. She asked me, in regards to all those scenarios I was taken advantage of or over-burdened myself, “WHO is being rude there?” I thought about it and was struck silent. THEY were being rude for leeching off of me, using me, and guilt-tripping me into giving up my own time, energy, etc. just to please them. “Who is being rude?” is my new filter I ask myself any time I feel tempted to give into those times that I feel my generosity is being taken advantage of. I have the right to say “No” and if someone thinks it’s rude that I did so, they’re not a true friend.
That’s my watered down version of my own confrontation with having the “Mother Teresa Syndrome” as the one author calls it. Reclaim your personal power. Find the root cause as to why you feel compelled to make others happy at your expense and analyze it, script how you can stand up for yourself, and one day give it a try. Hope my experience helps.
Viv
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