Reply To: Needing to make others feel good at your own expense?

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OK, so here’s part two.

My therapist told me, before I was diagnosed with ADD, that it’s important to be totally, literally clear as possible about other people’s expectations of me. However, some of my “people” in my old office were impatient, moody and unpredictable. So, it was truly difficult for me to say, “Please clarify some things for me before I get started,” or “Help me to understand what is exciting about this project for you so that I can produce what you want.” Often I would just say yes in order to get as far away as I could from them as soon as possible.

After I started my own business, I became so much happier and more confident in my professional skills. My clients love me and I love them. However, I still had a big procrastination problem and would sometimes stay up all night to get something presentable to my clients for our mid-way meeting.

I found an ADD coach through this site, Totally ADD. (Thanks!) She was surprised as most people find her through referrals. Anyway, she gave me a big piece of the puzzle that my therapist had started filling in.

She told me that my number one priority in my work is communicating with my clients.

She said many ADDers try to hide from view until they have something good or even great to show their bosses/clients/parents, etc. This usually ends up with my being late, and the work isn’t precisely how they thought it would go.

She said they would rather hear about your progress and do mid-course corrections. If the project takes longer, they are there with you on that journey. I’ve found this to be PRECISELY TRUE! Plus, they are no longer worried about my ability to deliver something they can be proud of, so they are always very nice to me!!!

I once thought that conversing about the details of work was very scary (because my boss was scary), and now it’s become a way to cope with my fears. It’s a miracle of sorts. 🙂

 

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