Reply To: Post diagnosis blues

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@lindsey3

I think everyone goes through “The Blues”. Let’s face it it’s grief. As someone who was diagnosed with ADHD, you are going through the grief process. You lost something. Whether it was “if only someone had noticed sooner, I wouldn’t have struggled with school.” “I could have been a… if only…”. It could be the tape playing in your head is “Why me?”.

 

I wrote something like this a few years ago, in response to someone going through what you are experiencing now. The best answer I have found was written by Dr Kevin T. Blake, Ph.D.

He writes: “One emotional concern that has far too often been overlooked in adults who have for the first time been diagnosed as having learning disabilities and/or ADHD is that of grief. Grief is a normal reaction to a traumatic life event (i.e., death in the family, diagnosis of cancer, loss of a job, diagnosis of a learning disability, etc.) Grief has definite stages which may lead to resolution as was demonstrated by Kubler-Ross’ work with terminal cancer patients in England. Persons going through a grief reaction may experience a loss of interest in things they previously found pleasurable, depressed mood,
sluggishness, problems with sleep and/or appetite, as well as guilt. Grief has a natural progression and is usually time limited.
Murphy and LeVert (1995) wrote about the six stages of coping that a person may experience following the diagnosis of ADHD. These can be applied to those with learning disabilities. They are as follows:
Stage 1: Relief and Optimism
I’m not retarded, I’m not schizophrenic, I’m not Bi-Polar or just plain stupid. I have ADHD….
Stage 2: Denial
There is no such thing as ADHD, I’m just lazy…
Stage 3: Anger and Resentment
If my third grade teacher would have noticed this, I may have gone to college….
Stage 4: Grief
My undiagnosed ADHD made life so painful for me…
How do I cope with ADHD and repair the damage of the past….
Stage 5: Accommodation
I accept I have ADHD, I am using work/school accommodations to compensate for it…
2
Initially it was believed the grief reaction adults would have to receiving a
diagnosis of learning disabilities and/or ADHD would be non-existent or at the very worst, quite mild. However, as clinical antidotes have been accumulated this does not necessarily appear to be the case. The severity and chronicity of the grief reaction an adult with learning disabilities and/or ADHD may experience appears to be quite variable. Individuals with very mild learning disabilities and/or ADHD symptoms without a history of significant life trauma may experience a minimum grief reaction. If the person does have a grief reaction its course tends to be short and that person reaches a level of acceptance of the disability quickly, with few relapses. ”

I don’t have the source for this quote, so if he isn’t a prolific writer, you might want to read this in context.

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