Reply To: Question about happiness

[Patte Rosebank]

Complete happiness is something so elusive that you only realize you were completely happy, AFTER the fact.

If you keep striving for happiness, you’ll be disappointed a lot.  But, if you strive for *contentment*, you’ll find it often enough that you’ll find happiness too.

For me, contentment comes from being appreciated, from having a purpose or goal that you’re working towards, and from knowing that you have *some* control over a situation & over your life—Not *total* control, but *enough* control.

I achieved contentment almost by accident.  I started to think like a psychologist.  When something made me feel or react very strongly, I’d stop and try to figure out WHY.  Once I’d figured out WHY, I could figure out HOW to either prevent it from happening again, or HOW to recognize it happening and minimize its impact on me.

So, instead of being helplessly tossed around by situations and emotions, I learned that I could do something about them.  The systems & structures I created don’t always work perfectly, but they work often *enough* and well *enough*.

But I had to come up with them when I was ready to.  Like most of us, I found the idea of having to build & stick to all these systems & structures was too overwhelming to even comprehend!

But, when I got fed up with the stress & anxiety & frustration of constantly screwing-up whenever I tried to do something, I’d figure out how to stop screwing-up every time I tried to do it.  Just like an addict has to hit rock-bottom before being ready to try to change.

It’s so simple!  (yeah, right…)

 

REPORT ABUSE