Reply To: Ritalin and the adventures of PigMonkey

[Robbo]

Hey gang, I’m just here to update ya on the psychiatrist appointment last week. It seemed to go well, but not so much when my GP doctor called me. He said they decided not to let me try the methylphenidate the second time. So I guess it was a bigger mistake than I realized when I stopped taking it last year.

So while I can’t say that I’m clinically depressed like I have been in the past. I am in some seriously bad pain. A combination of the ended romance, struggles with having a lot more social contact and  being much more aware of how acute the ADHD struggles still are.

And now feeling like my the quality of the health care I do receive has hit rock bottom. I’m fairly sure that if they did not have a new psychiatrist, I would probably be given a second chance to try the methylphenidate. Unfortunately I don’t think getting a second opinion is an option for me in this case.

I can’t even say that I’m sure the generic Ritalin would actually make that much difference.

I do know that I’m severely bummed, and I know this is going to take some time. Time to just finish with the grief about yet another failed relationship. Grief about how She must be feeling about this romance not working out, because the bottom line is that I still love this gal. Too dang much.

Grief about not having that very slight, but also very important extra help some of us can expect to get with medications. I was looking foreword to some help with all the relationships in my life. I feel like the same crap that made this romance fail, is hurting the rest of the people I’m trying to be friends with. Making all these people in my life just turn away. Like they always have.

It’s freaking lonely.

I have to admit, there was a small hopeful part of me thinking that when I started taking the medication, I would also be given another shot with this gal I was involved with over the last couple months.

It’s nearly sickening how difficult it is for me to let go of this one beautiful lady.  I gotta admit, a big part of it is the fact that I just don’t have any other really close friends.

This really is the shits. I’m seriously without hope.

And I really really hate to admit it. It’s just the shits.

Thanks for all the support you guys.

I will keep my head on straight.

I don’t give up, and I don’t give in.

I just hurt real bad inside.

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