The Forums › Forums › I Just Found Out! › No One Believes Me › Should I love my mother…or hate her? › Reply To: Should I love my mother…or hate her?
If she is anything like the 82-year olds in my family she will be set in her ways and mindset and unlikely to truly understand the concept and reality of ADHD. Trying to gain her acknowledgement and understanding will drain you emotionally.
Hate and love are strong emotions and one can swing between the two, but I am not sure one can choose these emotions …. although we can choose not to hate someone I suppose. I struggle with emotional regulation and I try to just tell myself that people are entitled to their perceptions – it is easier than hating them which is so negative that it then leads to negative self talk and a downhill spiral, especially if it is someone close who is involved. They go about their lives as normal and it’s me (us) who suffers emotionally ….. So I try to accept their ‘failings’ and stay positive…..otherwise I turn into an angry ‘victim’…..not a good place be…..
I would suggest that even if you don’t love her, please don’t hate her. I agree with blackdog – it could harm you in the long run. She’s an old lady……no point in trying to get her to understand. In ‘her day’ ADHD was not understood so I doubt she’ll grasp it now. Not her fault…..just how it is.
Read kc’s reply…wise words.
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