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1) You’re right that the lack of structure during holidays can be a problem. And you’re right about sometimes developing a tolerance to meds.
But is it really a tolerance, or is it more a matter of being so used to them that you don’t notice them? Sometimes, that’s all it is. (If you happen to forget to take them, your spouse will probably notice the difference, even if you don’t.)
It sounds like your doctor isn’t clear on the fact that ADHD affects all areas of a person’s life, because the person’s brain is driven by what’s interesting, not what’s important. You’re torn between interesting vs. important things, in all areas of life, not just work & driving.
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2) It’s hard when we have to educate our doctors. The doctor-patient relationship is a hierarchical one, with the doctor on top.
If you’re the one with the knowledge, then it affects your ability to trust the doctor…especially if you’re paying for that appointment. And the doctor feels uncomfortable, because THEY’RE supposed to be the one with all the knowledge.
Instead of just feeling uncomfortable, those doctors should be actively adding to their knowledge about the subject. With all the rapid developments in medicine, every doctor has a duty to do this. Especially with the new DSM-V coming out.
Your doctor sounds really open-minded (she even recognizes that you’re “leading-edge”), but she’s worried about professional liability if she’s stepping outside her expertise.
If she’s willing to learn (and she sure seems to be), then you could tell her that she might find TotallyADD.com very helpful. It’s one of the top sites that doctors send their newly-diagnosed patients to, because its information is current, unbiased, factual, and presented in a very user-friendly way.
And there are MANY videos and archived webinars here, featuring experts in the field of ADHD (including Dr. Umesh Jain, and Dr. Ari Tuckman). She can learn from all those experts, without having to actually consult with them!
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