Reply To: What do you all think about Mark Patey?

[blackdog]

@sdwa That sounds horrible. And completely the opposite of what a coach should be. Revolting is right.

I have gotten a similar attitude from a lot of people. The therapist I was seeing wrote in his notes to my doctor that I was “still refusing to attend the self esteem group” that he had recommended. I told him repeatedly that it was at a bad time and I couldn’t do it at that time. When I finally did go it was just repeat of everything he said in our sessions. Total waste of time.

I get treated like I am just not being cooperative all the time. Which I guess, now that I think about it, is true. I am a little “oppositional”. But only when I oppose what they are saying. 😉

My problem with CBT is that it focuses on turning negative cognitions into positive cognitions. “How we think is how we feel which affects how we behave.” Which is true. But it doesn’t help me keep the house clean or remember to go to the pharmacy or be on time. It completely ignores the serious and very real problems that are causing the “negative cognitions” in the first place.

 

Now, on the subject of positive thinking- It does work and it is very important. Will it make you rich and famous and give you everything you wish for and cure your ADHD? No. But it is a very powerful force. However, true positive thinking is very, very difficult to achieve. To really truly believe it, deep down inside, without any hint of a “yeah, but…” or a “but what if…” is damn near impossible.

I bought a copy of “The Secret” in a second hand book store a few years ago. Just to see what all the hype was about. I read a little bit, then skimmed a little more, then promptly tossed it in the corner and left it there. I was going to take it back to the store and trade it for another book but I kept forgetting so I still have it around here somewhere. About the only “secret” it contains is how to make yourself rich by convincing people that you have “the secret”.

It reminded me of a story, not sure where it originated, about a guy who placed and ad in the paper offering advice on how to become a millionaire for $2. When people sent him the $2 he sent them a slip of paper saying “Don’t answer ads in the paper asking you for money”.

Now, there is a movie called “What the Bleep do We Know?”. You may have heard of it. It talks about the power of positive thought and how our thoughts shape reality from a more serious scientific view, without all the “just imagine you have a big fancy house and it will appear” nonsense. We rented it by mistake one night. It had a funny title and said it starred Marley Matlin. We thought it was an actual movie. Husband lost interest pretty quick because it was a little too intellectual for his liking. I found it all quite interesting. I’ve been meaning to rent it again because some of the theories were a little over my head and I need to listen again to get it all.

Whether or not positive thinking can change you life is debatable. But it feels good, so why not? I spent many, many years focusing on the negative. And it just made me miserable. Instead of just seeing the problem I need to start looking for the solution. And that is a healthy kind of positive thinking. Not believing that just changing the way you think will change your life, but believing that it can change and finding a way to make it happen.

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