It may be too late for me

[billd]

OK – if this is a possible result, I’m going to make SURE I go get assistance:

>>Externally, my wife noticed a lot of changes. The principle changes she noted were:

– more pleasant to be around

– no emotional blow-back from interruptions

– reduced temper flair ups when “mother nature” was being uncooperative

– more willing to engage in collaborative (and boring) household chores

<<

WOW, do those things fit me –

I’m too afraid to hold my breath. I’m afraid I’ll pass out and forget to breath!

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[Anonymous]

We are, by a genetic binding, brothers and sisters.

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Fear is not appropriate. Your “dinosaur” brain will take over. The point is, one of our traits is that we lack the degree of voluntary focus control possessed by the general population. Dr. Hallowell refers to them as “farmers” while we are “hunter / gatherers”. I don’t know if there is any truth to it, but it is a useful analogy.

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I have found Dr. Hallowell’s insights into the ADHD mind very practical and useful in everyday life.

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Re: the Concerta. Initially, I was very apprehensive that the ADHD positives would be compromised by the drug. This was an experiment and I was going to be in control (how un-ADHD like – not the doctor (psychiatrist). My objective was to learn what it was like so I could be a better advocate for my grandson. The results were completely unexpected.

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Since, I have been on the meds, I have created another Internet protocol CPUXA/IP, and authored an assembler and a compiler for Applied DIgital’s ADICON series of home automation controllers. I have designed and built a compression bridge (25′). I have implemented my younger son’s radiant heat system after the GC said it could not be done. The setup is deployed in 10 square feet, while the same configuration was deployed in 75 square feet on “This Old House”. Yes it looks like a tuba, but it works and is maintainable – failed parts can be removed and replaced in situ without a hacksaw or torch. I also have a woodworking shop. Oh, Yeh, and started a, so far, successful business. No worries on the creative front.

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My hobbies are Home theater, brewing live, cask conditioned, bitter ales, and baking bread, I couldn’t do all these things and meet all the neat people associated with these activities, if I did not posses the ADHD genes.

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FYI – I can’t tell if I have taken the meds. Sometimes I forget. My wife and grandson have no difficulty in detecting if I have.

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[billd]

OK, you can come over to my place and put in a radiant electric heat system in my shop, and install a thermostat that I can control from my web-enabled phone so if I”m on my way home I can turn up the heat and work in my shop when I get there.

Then you can finish connecting my stereo system (sitting part finished for going on 2 years this next January)

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[Anonymous]

Wow! I do believe I have found my tribe!! This is a crazy question, but are there any of you out there who can drink coffee and have none of the caffeine side effects? Caffeine is a stimulant and has no effect for me. I can drink a cup of strong coffee and have no trouble sleeping. Just curious.

I have been depressed most of my life and have taken Prozac for part of it. I had to continually keep upping the dosage and finally gave up. Not a good idea….When the drug Straterra came out i tried it and was amazed how focused I was. A totally new thing for me! “So this is what it feels like to be able to focus….hmmm — I think I like it!”. I didn’t have money to continue it at the time, but now wish I would/could have. I am going to give it a try again because the life I have been living is not really living. I have no energy, no desire to do anything, depression that comes and goes, looking back on my life as one of complete failure, blah blah blah. In cleaning out my desk last week I came across a bunch of business cards. They were all businesses that I had started and for one reason or another let go of, lost interest in, not sure exactly. Is that perhaps the part of ADD where projects go unfinished? I have that too – lots of knitting and sewing projects unfinished!! LOL!

Oh, and the part about being interrupted while you are hyperfocused…..boy that is something! Was a legal secretary for 20 years and when I was in the middle of something and got interrupted, wow – it was not pretty! Surprised I didn’t get fired for THAT! Other than that, I do not have much of a temper. Takes an awful lot for me to loose my cool – unless you interrupt me! HAHA!

The other thing that fascinated me was the cool – headed thing. I was amazed at myself when I stopped to help at an auto accident scene. I was directing people on when and how to do what – like I actually knew what I was doing! Everyone else was running around like chickens without heads! I thought about going for EMT training but because it required SCHOOLING, I decided against it. I would’ve been good at it – I’m sure of it.

So, I guess it’s never too late! I will try one more thing one more time, although I have to say I am getting a little weary…..

I will let you know how things are going when I get back on meds. Looking forward to promising results!

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[billd]

I can drink coffee, Mountain Dew, you name it, and sleep ok, well, like normal for me. There are things that will make me sleep if I have problems, but generally, I try to keep a set time to go to bed and sleep and I’m generally fine.

I have a temper sometimes. I’m VERY sensitive (so please folks – if I go off, please don’t get too bothered. It’s just me, who and how I am. I generally don’t mean it and an hour later will regret it anyway.

I’ll never forget the day that the company I worked for got hit by “code red” the big web worm. It was taking down servers and the company web servers were falling left and right. It was crazy. There I was, with the console into our AV, sitting calmly working and my office was a flurry of activity with folks from the server team, security team, etc coming and going asking for advice, what to do first or next and so on. The head of the information protection area came and asked – what do you think, and I answered “pull the plug, remove Internet” – it was the first time ever the company had gone offline, blocked all internet access and I had just given the order to the HEAD of the security team!

Then a company officer and manager came in to my work area and said “you really enjoy this, don’t you – look at you so calm and organized, doing all the right things”.

Yeah, I was high as a kite right then. I’d started my shift at the normal time – 6:30am that day, but the bug hit just before I would have gone home for the day. Finally near 3am someone said “go get a shower, some sleep and something to eat” So I did, and returned at 7 to start my next work day. (I lived 30 minutes away)

Any Star Trek fans ever watch Data work a problem, or type in complex commands to the ship computer? I’ve been compared to that when under pressure.

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[Anonymous]

You people are amazing! Where have you been all my life?

I spent years battling depression but I kept thinking deep down that it was just a symptom or a result of something undiagnosed, it turned out to be ADHD. Anti-depressants made me feel so stupid and forgetful, I kept losing my train of thought.

There’s nothing like a big crisis where we can be at our best and actually feel so normal and in total control.

There have been bits of everyone’s comments that hit home so well. Now, that I can see that a lot of my “bad” behaviours are not just me being stupid or immature, but are part of my ADHD. Now I just have to find someone to help me work through it all. Isn’t it ironic how slow a process it is to work through all the systems to get the help we need and we all hate to get stuck a line or a slowdown.

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