job transitions

[blackdog]

@shutterbug55

I disagree. Coffee is not bad for you.

I don’t know the first thing about investing and I don’t live in the states so I don’t know anything about anything else you are talking about. Except that real estate is a good investment. I know that because that’s what my uncle invested in.

And living below your means. Growing up, everything in our house was second hand. Still is mostly. We got one set of new clothes every year when school started and new shoes when we outgrew the old ones. The only new toys we had were birthday and Christmas presents, and we only got one. I never knew there was such a thing as a “Christmas list” until one day when I heard some of the kids at school talking about it. Dad used to pick up TV’s that people put out for the garbage, strip them and salvage the parts to build a new one.  The first new TV we ever had that actually came from a store was when I was about 16 or 17 and that was only because mom got hit by a car. (It was the driver’s fault, so she got some money). And the only reason we had cable was because they forgot to disconnect it when the people who lived there before moved out.

Sadly, the frugality did not generate any funds for investments, though it might have if my father had been smarter. But it was all mom could do to keep him from spending what little there was on something stupid.

Sadly, I take after him. Though I’m not as bad because I have my mother’s teachings. Bills first, then food, then anything else you need, and save whatever is left  for emergencies. Or something shiny. 😀

You have given us all something to think about. Another book that is supposed to be very good is The Wealthy Barber by David Chilton.  It sold enough copies to make him a millionaire so there must be something good about it.

FYI, this forum does have personal messaging. Just go to someone’s profile and there is a “private message” button. Unless you meant something else?

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[shutterbug55]

@blackdog – I could argue the relative merits of coffee, but the point is we don’t need it. Starbucks charges $3.50 for a latte, which adds up VERY quickly over a month.

Real Estate is a good investment, but we were talking about starting off small. So you have to consider what you are going after. Fix and flip, rentals, office space… this list goes on. Each type of investment has it’s own pluses and minuses, and levels of risk.

The point I was trying to make in my last post was. A thorough understanding of the investment you are making is necessary, no matter what that investment is. By starting out small, any mistakes you make (and you will make them) will have a smaller effect on your finances. Going to big too fast will lead to trouble, because your education will not be caught up with your investments. When you make mistakes, they will be big, and far more difficult to overcome.

Everyone makes mistakes with investing, and that is part of the learning process. Best to make them, when they are small and inexpensive.

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[Scattybird]

@shutterbug – thank you for your comprehensive reply. I tried to respond earlier but my iPad crashed out and I gave up!

I have bought the two books you recommended – I just have to remember I have them now!

Oddly when I was about 14 I had a vague interest in stocks and used to play the paper game to see how rich I could become if I had a bit more than pocket money to invest. When I became an adult I was always in debt so couldn’t justify using money for anything other than trying to get out of the hole I was in.

Anyway, I will have a read and a paper play and then…..become rich! 🙂

I might come back for advice!

I met someone from the States a couple of years ago who had written his own computer programme to assist in his buying and selling stocks/shares (whichever is the correct term). He said he was doing well – although he still had his day job.

 

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[shutterbug55]

I wished we had Private Messaging on this forum. I deal much better with one -to- one communication, without having to worry about every one else “listening” in.

Don’t get me wrong, I do like these forums because of all the people here. Your opinions, insights and VAST knowledge helps me so much. I just tend to be a little self conscious.

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[Scattybird]

@shutterbug – we do have private messaging. It’s through the connect bit. Sorry that’s not clear – it’s the end of a frustrating day and my brain has switched off.

 

I know what you mean about being self conscious. But please don’t be.  I enjoy reading your posts and if you private messaged individuals instead then they wouldn’t be out there for people to enjoy, learn from, empathise with etc. You have struck a chord often.

Anyway, if you had privately messaged SDWA then I wouldn’t be setting myself up to make a fortune now!

 

@ sdwa – how are you/things?

 

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[blackdog]

@shutterbug55, I sent you a PM.  You should see the little letter icon at the too left of the page lit up green and orange. 🙂

I can understand how one on one communication would make you more comfortable. But you have posted some great advice here that we know is helping at least one person already. 🙂

I agree, Starbucks coffee is bad for you. 😛 Blech!

Coffee, in moderation, does have some health benefits. Plus, it’s just nice to sit and hold a hot, steaming cup in your hands when your feeling tired and miserable. But buying fancy overpriced coffees is a waste of money. You’re really only paying for the name and in many cases you could make something just as good at home for a fraction of the cost.

However, it is Roll Up The Rim to Win time at Tim Horton’s again. 😉

 

(for those who live outside of Canada, Tim Horton’s is like “Starbucks” only better)

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[shutterbug55]

I forgot to mention Electronic TRADEing  in my prior posts. They will let you do pretty much any kind of trade there is out there, and not try to sell you anything. I don’t know if we can mention companies by name, here. You get the idea.

@Scattybird,

Message received. I am never too sure who reads my replies, and what people get from them. I am usually reminded that I am off subject, or lecturing, or let someone else speak. Kind of goes with the whole ADD/AS thing. Thank you for letting me know.

@blackdog,

(Private) Message received. Cool stuff! Thank you for showing me the PM capabilities.

As far as the whole coffee thing goes. I do contracts for Starbucks, so of course my opinion is completely “unbiased”. IMHO, Horton’s, while a decent brew, is just a pale imitation of Starbucks. 😉

 

 

 

 

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[sdwa]

@shutterbug55

That all sounds like great advice, although first I have to get an income. Cutting expenses while unemployed would also be a good idea.

It’s funny how beliefs shape what seems to be possible. I’ve never learned a thing about money in my life. I didn’t think it was something I could do or have. I’ve never thought of myself as a person who could understand or manage it. Could be time to change that opinion.

Thanks for the info.

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[sdwa]

@scattybird

Thanks for asking. Not sure how things are. I mean, I guess they’re good? I got a call for an interview. Went to it. Seemed to go well, because they started talking about benefits which they usually don’t do if they don’t like you. I’d like the job. It’s kind of ironic because I had no desire at all to go to the interview. If I don’t get it, I want to devote myself full time to writing and hopefully start coach training. If I do get it, I’ll have to put off the training until summer due to scheduling, but I’ll be better able to afford it. I’m trying to stay optimistic, regardless, working hard to replace negative thoughts with positive ones because hey, who wants to have depressing thoughts all day? If there’s a choice. Seems like it actually is possible to learn to think better thoughts. It takes work and practice, but the worst thing that can happen is feeling good – a risk I’m willing to take. 😉

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[blackdog]

@shutterbug55, Tim Horton’s can’t very well be an “imitation” of Starbucks, considering they have been around quite a bit longer. Though some of the younger people here have embraced the Starbucks hype, one taste is enough to make the stomach want to hit the eject button for a lot of people, myself included. I have always been told by people who travel a lot that American coffee is horrible. Customers used to come into the coffee shop where I worked (not a Tim Horton’s) when they came back from the US and gush about how it was so good to finally be able to get a decent cup of coffee.

TBH, I don’t think Tim’s is the best. They just have the best marketing.  There are at least two other coffee chains that I would prefer but they are almost nonexistent now, at least where I live. I think they are managing to hang on in other parts of the country. The one store I worked at surprised TH by hanging on for several years after they tried to squeeze them out. Unfortunately bad management did them in in the end.

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[blackdog]

@sdwa Thanks for the update. Sounds like things might be going good. (knock wood)

I think it is possible to learn to think better thoughts. The CBT people aren’t completely wrong. I just dislike the superficial nature of it. But I often think about how people who are worse off, the poorest people who have nothing, can still smile and laugh and find joy in life. And I think if they can do it, I can. And really, there is no point in being miserable all the time. You have to look for those little things that can make you smile in order to have hope and be able to carry on.

Yesterday I was wallowing in misery. But I let myself wallow for awhile and I am all wallowed out now. I find that it helps to do that, to just acknowledge the feelings and let them run their course. As long as you are able to shake it off when you’re done. That is where I run into trouble, because I tend to pull myself back down. I think it’s sometimes just hard to remember to work at that happiness. You get so caught up in the day to day stuff and you just don’t think about it.

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[SuzeQuze]

I can identify with what’s happened to folks here. I was at a job for 11+ years and it ended badly for me. I had those old familiar feelings and quite a setback. I had a period of about 6 or 7 years where I functioned very well on the job but as they started treating me worse my performance worsened. It still wasn’t too bad since I had produced A+ work up until then and was the boss’ ”favorite.” But I got so sick of the extra demands he placed on me because of my level of competence. And he was also going insane. He became a MUCH worse boss when he went from a team lead to a ”manager.” It turned him into a pompous little tyrant. He’d been a ”friend” for years or so I thought but after that behavior he was demoted in my mind to ”enemy.” I am not one to even have enemies. He was so bad I was having a huge problem with anxiety.

About a year before I left he started giving half my work to ”satellite testers.” These were people who were supposed to get the extra work if we had too much. One of them included a team lead’s fiance! I kept thinking that I must have done something wrong and becoming more and more paranoid. I was working about 24 hrs per week and barely making ends meet sinking more into debt I was afraid to do anything on my own behalf as my boss had called me ”selfish” and had said ”he had to think about what I was capable of.” He’d told me he would give me some next-level work, which paid a lot more, but when a job came along he manipulated me into turning it down. He asked me to recommend someone, which I did, and my gut was churning thinking, ”He’s going to give the next job to her, I should just take this one.” But then I thought that was crazy and he wouldn’t do that to me after our history. Guess what? He did it! A few months later he gave her the next job.

When I finally confronted him on these things (after nearly getting fired for entering too many hours on too little jobs ) he told me he was only human and makes mistakes. He told me he was ”saving me” for the Office books that were coming in. I would rather have taken a hot poker in the eye than do another revision of the Office books (probably the 5th round). The books never came in. I went nearly a year with the 24hr/week average. I felt so frozen and didn’t even file for partial unemployment because I thought it would make the company mad. Then the company filed for bankruptcy. I started to feel better about myself then because it was validation that I was not crazy and the company was falling apart. I had seen this over the last few years but my boss kept telling me everything was fine.

I was so confused with the anxiety/depression/ADHD cycle. Plus I have another illness which causes brain fog and fatigue. The job triggers made all of these worse. He kept telling me the work was coming and I am so bad with linear time but I finally woke up after about 10 mos of this and started looking. I realized he was never going to be true to his word. I got a job quickly, although far below my abilities. I did them both part time for a while and then quit the job with the crazy boss. I sent him a two sentence neutral email when I resigned and I did not answer his calls. He sounded like some alien with his nice tone but of course his message was all about him with an ”oh yeah, congrats” thrown in. If he doesn’t know why I left he’s a bigger idiot than I thought.

The job I took was sort of menial but I was paid well for the work and really did not mind. The people there were so nice so I continued to crawl out of my hole of depression and anxiety. In the beginning I was still sobbing every afternoon. But as I continued to work in a supportive, positive, friendly environment I continued to get better. I was grateful for the opportunity. Unfortunately after 5 mos I was let go because the company was not profitable and they had to be to meet their contract with their new parent company. They did not want to let me go but they were forced to by finance. Unfortunately I didn’t get the training there that I was pretty much promised in the beginning. But the manager was bummed about the layoffs (I survived them at first) and I think that impacted his motivation to go above and beyond.

I just finished a 3 month project which was also below my abilities. The pay was stupid. The ”manager” was completely incompetent. But this didn’t really impact my self-esteem as much. But now I am again in transition and have had such trouble staying focused on resume and cover letter writing and applying for jobs. I have had recruiters helping me but they see to miss details about this jobs which are important for me to know for the interview! I had two interviews which went really well but I didn’t get the jobs. Such a bummer and it took me some time to bounce back.

I am not sure what I want to be when I grow up. This is a big part of the problem. My credit was impacted by what happened in 2013 which is a further hit to me. I did apply for unemployment and got it for Feb & March. I just reapplied too so hopefully will get it again. But I also have to pay for my health insurance on top of the lower pay. My taxes are late which I owed a lot for because one of my jobs took no taxes out but I had to use all the money to pay my bills and get new professional clothes that fit. I had been working from home for years.

Anyway, I am trying to rethink what I want to do but it is so hard with the ”Look, a squirrel!” thoughts bouncing around in my head. I have identity issues from AD/HD and from self-absorbed parents while growing up who pretty much saw me as an extension of themselves. So I need to figure out who I am and what I want to do. No small feat!

I am wondering if anyone has taken this journey to switching careers in about mid-life (I am 43). I was working in textbook editing for 11 years and then QA for the last year. I was very good at the book editing but so spent at the end of the day. I would like to find something that is not so draining! I love bibliotherapy so if anyone has any book recommendations that would be awesome.

Also, for anyone who has had a similar experience with a boss, know that it is not your fault. (Even though I knew this I still ”lost it” because I had to leave but felt paralyzed…) There is an excellent book about this phenomenon called ”The No Asshole Rule.” Companies who have such a policy are more productive and profitable. Happier employees = better output. Bullying is a huge problem in the US. Something like 85% of companies do a poor job at weeding out people who are causing others emotional harm. This impacts their bottom line in decreased productivity as well as increased healthcare costs!

I have been trying to target this15% of quality companies but it is so hard because making decisions is so hard. Plus these jobs are harder to get because people want to work for the good companies.

Anyway, now that I have written a book here I will save any more for later! Thanks for reading.

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