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kids or not

kids or not2011-08-14T04:20:41+00:00
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  • #107305

    Anonymous
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    Post count: 14413

    My take on this is that as our knowledge base grows, ADD and other behavioural “disorders” will become easier to treat and deal with, but it all depends on the person. I have moderate ADD. I don’t have the greatest attention span, and I am impulsive to a fault, but for the most part I can manage. I was blessed to be in a gifted class in school, and the parent that raised me was not the one with ADD, and she set an amazing example of what a parent should be. I am most definitely going to have kids someday. I know that I struggled with ADD in school, but back then, no one had the faintest clue what it was. My children will likely have an easier time of it, partcularly since they will have my experience to draw from regarding coping mechanisms. My biggest fear is that the person I have kids with may also be ADD, and we will end up in a “blind leading the blind” scenario!

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    #107306

    Patte Rosebank
    Participant
    Post count: 1517

    It depends on the individual.

    My parents taught me and my brother that bringing a child into this world is a HUGE responsibility—the biggest one of your life. And it *is* YOUR responsibility. Don’t take it on unless you know you have the resources (financial and emotional) to give that child its basic needs (food, clothing, shelter, and LOVE) for its entire lifetime. And don’t expect Mom & Dad to take over if you’re not up to the job. Mom & Dad raised YOU. They’ll babysit your kids occasionally, but their own child-rearing years are over.

    I have enough trouble looking after myself. There’s no way I’d be able to look after a child…especially one that would probably have inherited the ADHD, anxiety, and depression that I have.

    BTW, last week, at my grandmother’s funeral, I met many relatives I hadn’t seen in years. And I found out that one of my cousins has ADHD, and so do her daughter, niece, and nephew! ADHD doesn’t run in our family. It practically gallops!

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    #107307

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 14413

    I have ADHD-C and I have four children 13, 10, 8 and my fiance and I just had a baby a few months ago. I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until my oldest son was at age 8 (5 years ago) I am now 37. My ADHD does not make me a bad parenting fact I would say it contributes to me being a great parent – but I have never let my adhd hold me back from my goals and I have always known I would have children.

    I also don’t have any other conditions in combination to adhd-c . I however don’t expect perfection (no ocd here). Two of my children have adhd but it presents different challenges for each. I have to adjust my life, career, home around their needs.

    Don’t make your decision to have children based on having adhd. Make it on your ability to be selfless. Parents need to be able to put their children first and to take on the LIFETIME responsibility of being a parent :) If you can’t look after yourself – how can you look after children? Something to think about :) Just my thoughts.

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