So we're loners so what?

[cropmom]

I’m new to the forums, not new to ADHD, but new to actually doing something about it. This subject intrigued me, but didn’t read the entire thread, so apologies if I am restating something already rehashed.

From my pre-ADHD psycho-education days of late, I always took my desire to be alone as being an introvert.  I still do.  I’ve tested that way on the Meyers-Briggs Assessment. By definition an introvert is someone who energizes alone.  Like some have said, they don’t like going to social gatherings and it drains them.  That is exactly how I have felt for years.  Finding out that I was an introvert helped me to accept my differences (married to an extrovert & non-ADD).  I learned to navigate through the situations and got my down time later.

As someone who is now putting the pieces together of my ADHD and applying that filter to my life, I’m somewhat confused.  I am questioning just about everything these days.

Are all introverts also ADD?  Or are all ADDers introverts?

Some can be the total life of the party, comedic, etc.  But maybe that is just a mask they use to fit in and then revert to solitude later to recharge. (Watch the webinar “Pretending to be Normal” on 3/17/05 for great information about our masks.)

Also, another note about the idea of being alone.  Having alone time is good.  I prefer it myself.  I need a lot of solitude to process. However, isolation is very detrimental to our overall health.  We need to be connected to others, at least one on one.  ADDers are prone to depression and depression feeds on isolation. Getting feedback and encouragement from others (especially those on the path to wholeness with their ADHD diagnosis) is critical.

If anyone has insight on separating our ADHD from our personality type or about being an introvert, please add your input to the conversation.

cropmom

REPORT ABUSE

[pinkdex]

I’ve never liked the idea that you have to love your family simply by nature of them being related to you (I don’t mean direct family, your caretakers or your own spouse and kids) I more mean extended family. Personally I do love my extended family, but I’ve come to realize over the years that it’s because of the relationship that we have and not just because we are related. So I totally see where you are coming from. The bottom line is is that in order to survive with ADD in a world that runs directly opposite to how we work, you have to make some sacrifices.

 

Declining to be social at times is a privilege granted for you to deal with your disorder. It shouldn’t be seen as a self-destructive thing at all. It’s a necessary consequence, and not even a good consequence, but sometimes it has to happen. It’s not like all of us are happy and cheerful about being anti-social most ADD/ADHDers I know would love it if they could fit in better when they do choose to be social!

REPORT ABUSE

[shutterbug55]

Cropmom,

People with ADD can be loners and loners can be ADD. One is not a sub set of the other, only an intersection.

We are ADD because of how our brains are wired. That is a condition of the structure and chemistry of our brains.

Throughout our lives, experience may have taught some of us to prefer the company of our own thoughts to that of people.  To other ADDers, experience has shown them not to avoid people. Who is to say that that is how we would be without being ADD?

I sometimes envy people like Rick and Patrick, who can get up in front people and entertain/educate them. It is very difficult for me even present findings on research or lecture on subjects which I am expert in. I have a real problem talking with people. To me, “The more the merrier” is some kind of sick joke.

 

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

Posts