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You guys rock!!! Never ever before have I felt so completely understood……what a major difference it makes to know that I am not alone in my struggles……and the things that I am afraid to admit are right here on this page!!!
I stopped over at a friend’s house tonight on my way home because my hubby was there, and this friend’s mother is someone I know I could never ever be. Not that I wanna be someone else, but I mean…..seriously. She wakes up at 4:00, takes the dogs for walks, cleans her house, makes lunches, and then goes to work. Then, she comes home, cleans again, and I don’t mean clean like what I do with a broom and a dustpan, I mean like “clean” clean….lol. She cooks all these amazing suppers, and she is always offering us food, drinks, whatever……you name it. Plus, her house is so neat and tidy and clean that it just makes me feel even more like…..UGH!!! Why can’t I do that?? Yeah, ok, I know……I work full time and I have 3 kids under the age of 7, and I hate cooking, and I am unorganized and lack the skill of prioritizing…….bet seriiously!!!
Whew…..anyway…..look at me I’ve gone off track……Thanks again everyone!! So glad to be a part of this!!
Always,
g
REPORT ABUSEmy neighbour is like that gracious- she’s up at 3am, makes lunch for her husband and adult son, is at work from 4am to 1pm, home for lunch and by 2pm is on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor, cleaning kittylitter, making big roast dinners for the menfolk who get home at 4pm, frequently brings ‘leftovers’ (a full roast dinner with gravy and dinner rolls and dessert, covered in foil) over for my bf- cos she knows i won’t cook that stuff for him, she washes her bedlinen and towels every day- her son wears 3 changes of flipping clothes in a day- she does laundry more in one day than i do in 2 weeks!
but its really not a bed of roses behind that facade of perfection- she’s an insomniac who lives on about 25 cans of pepsi a day, and i don’t wanna know how many cigarettes, she has developed diabetes from all the sugar, and she often wakes up at 1am in a panic about whether or not the house is tidy enough for company if someone pops round unannounced, and can’t get back to sleep over it- so ends up scrubbing the floor again in the middle of the night.
the first thing i hear out of her mouth when i open her front door is a panicked “don’t look around, its a total mess!”. at that point i usually stare blankly across the hall at the polished wooden floor and glass tabletop in her immaculate living room, and think about my muddy linoleum, coat closet thats missing a door, stairs marked with torn off chunks of painters tape (the cat had a rather large downward tumble when he was a very small little cat-man, and gets scared if i don’t mark the stair edges- and refuses to walk downstairs without his ‘landing strip lights on’) the contractor pack of skirting/baseboards thats been stacked against the wall in my hall for the past 18 months, and catfur tumbleweeds rolling down the stairs, the fireplace wall thats sans mantle- but has a lovely ‘rustic’ effect made up of partially exposed cement-smeared brickwork and torn lining paper with blue pen doodles of a dog drawn gracing it currently, and say “hmmm”.
its bloody insane! what kind of value must she put on herself to say that she wants to be remembered as ‘always having a spotless house, and being an excellent hostess’, when i suggest she not worry about it so much- there is more to life than floorwax and laundry liquid, and that she’ll send herself to an early grave? i really wouldn’t wanna be remembered with “well, she was neurotic as hell, ran her body into the ground, and keeled over and popped her clogs at 45- but you know, you could always see your knickers reflected in her floor, and thats whats important!” or have “beloved mother, wife, and washerwoman’ carved on my tombstone.
i’d rather be remembered as ‘ she was messy as hell, stark bollard raving mental sometimes, had a stack of faults a mile high and was very much still a ‘work in progress’ , but she didn’t take the small stuff too seriously, and was always good for a laugh, and kind to small furry creatures’ or as people have said about my parents (my mum has either brain damage from a childhood head injury, or ADHD, and my dad is just well…yeah) house ….. “i love going around there, cos it feels like being at home- like i can move a pile of books to put my feet up on the couch, not worry about getting yelled at if i spill my tea, there is never any fuss, and there is always something interesting going on….”.
my mother doesn’t make tea or take peoples coats, she says “i know its a tip in here, the kitchen’s that way, help yourself to anything you fancy and the best route over the rubble is if you climb thataway, don’t put your coat down if you don’t wanna find a cat sleeping on it later, and if you can’t find it again, you’re on your own with that!”… and she has way more people who consider her a friend (and a godsend, completely awesome, ‘not like a mum at all really, more like a mate, only wrinklier”, and so on) than you can shake a stick at- cos she’s nothing but herself.
my tidy neighbour is really missing out. and probably giving herself an ulcer.
REPORT ABUSE
Still SkepticalCarrie2011-01-27T18:13:32+00:00
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