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andreaaaaaah

andreaaaaaah2012-11-13T13:00:41+00:00

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  • in reply to: I'm new here.. dealing with new normal. #129809

    andreaaaaaah
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    Post count: 16

    And thanks again for all the kind and inspiring words! Seriously.. thanks!

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    in reply to: I'm new here.. dealing with new normal. #129802

    andreaaaaaah
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    Post count: 16

    When my dad was under the knife the first time after a series of heart attacks, the doctors discovered heart deformities and such that could only be linked to agent orange exposure. then of course he has the skin flare ups since as far back as I could remember. My uncle, who handled the stuff from an air force plane ended up having very similar stuff going on inside his heart and skin, and later died. If you have skin flare ups than it is very possible you could have deformities like they did inside you as well. My uncle and dad only found out the hard way..after major heart attacks. Just take the best possible care of yourself? Its a sucky thing. I will get back to you more but I do believe there is a way the VA can measure how much is in your body. Do you go to your local VA?

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    in reply to: I'm new here.. dealing with new normal. #129795

    andreaaaaaah
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    Post count: 16

    Hey Harry! Meant to respond sooner but I’ve been out of town, and then returned to great gardening weather. Soooo its very easy for me to forget about anything social media related for weeks at a time! Great stuff you wrote there, Harry. πŸ™‚ And thanks so much! Life is an adventure and so much fun and lovely if we choose to just keep dwelling on the GOOD things..making the very best of the circumstances and trying to be purposeful etc! For sure!! Potter’s wheel– yes! That’s so very true!

    Sooo…I gotta keep it short tonight but I wanted to address your agent orange question because I have watched my dad’s skin just go haywire all over making it very uncomfortable and annoying for him. He has had skin scrapings and nasty tar concoctions prescribed to him to try to help it and all with no luck. Recently though, its looking good! He DID just start a new diet though.. I never even considered food reaction flare up. Duh…You could be onto something. I will be picking his brain about this soon. Wow. Could it be something so very simple??? I just hate to think of all the others out there suffering with similar conditions and even worse–like the people who had to live in it and all their extreme deformities. I really gotta get back on the google because there is probably a crap ton more info out there since I last did my little bit of “research”. I will be back on soon to tell you what I find out from my dad. Has the VA tried doing anything for you with it?

    Anyway…My dad seems to

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    in reply to: I'm new here.. dealing with new normal. #129550

    andreaaaaaah
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    Post count: 16

    Thank you Harry. That was some real truth and heart. I even got a tear in my eye. Seriously, from comfort. Been battling some self esteem and self worth issues for some time, like so many.. Man, its really dumb to me because I know its just lies I don’t need to believe about myself. Blah ti da! So anyway, I’ve been kicking my cares to the curb more and more but I want so much to find a way to help the kids of today who I see suffer with the same stuff we did/do so they don’t waste time feeling crappy about themselves and believing they aren’t capable of more. My 4th grade teacher once told me I was the most “challenging” student he had. He only told me that years later at a funeral of another teacher. I was so very shocked to know I was that much of a disruptive kid until I started working at an elementary school and instantly related to the children who were assigned a para because of their ADHD or related struggles and saw his perspective. Its hard to take school seriously when you’re a kid.. you go because you have to..If I had honestly known I was causing stress to that teacher, I would’ve tried harder to be better. I really never could just blend in the background. Something was always funny or ..the running fan in the projector just really seemed tempting to stick my ruler in during the middle of a math lesson. Why? I was just sooo curious what that was inside this machine .. yeah.. I still wonder why I did that. I remember the look on that teacher’s face that time! WOw! He had to of thought I did that on purpose! I’m soo fortunate I didn’t go to a Catholic school or I would’ve been hit with that same ruler, I’m sure!

    Who else did stupid things when they were a kid just because.. and now are kind of relieved that kids are addicted to technology or they would probably be doing some of the same things causing worse damage. Like smashing mailboxes.. I never did that crap but I know people who did. I don’t know that last time I have heard of anyone getting their mailboxes smashed in by teens. Why? because teens just stare at a screen now.. Bad and good! πŸ™‚ Ok bye for now. All of you are so awesome!

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    in reply to: I'm new here.. dealing with new normal. #128767

    andreaaaaaah
    Participant
    Post count: 16

    Thanks Harry!! You went thru quite an era! I’m pretty sure I’d be one of those flowers-in-her-hippies straight away after discharge back then. Man, what an era you all lived! Its not as colorful these days and the music will never be as good. Thanks for sharing. That woman with the kids you described is already me with my animals. HA!! I really have accepted infertility as a gift! Seriously.. I have an incredible husband and I do make sure to laugh everyday! πŸ™‚ I was just looking at pictures from when I was in Afghanistan and remembering how effing ugly and miserable it was there..Being there only made me appreciate EVERYDAY since. And when I do get down, I actively try to think my way out of my cloud by refocusing on everything good in my life. Its like.. after being in a place of war.. everything else is easy breezy. People often freak out about stupid small stuff and then they look at me funny when I don’t share in their reaction. Do you still get that?

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    in reply to: I'm new here.. dealing with new normal. #128766

    andreaaaaaah
    Participant
    Post count: 16

    I’m hoping they will find a way to make the leaf a one dose all day long thing. Like ..imagine a cup of cannabis coffee and then you are good for 6-8 hours but not all dopey and obvious. Is there something like that yet? I want that. Just to be chilled out but completely coherent for driving and working a job. They must have perfected something like this.. make it the green alternative for opioids even.
    Mushrooms though? Interesting. We get cows near us in the summer, I hear the best shrooms are found under piles of cow dung.. Never tried it myself. I could make my own experimental lab in the back 40. Or someone could and I’ll try it when its closer to a safe perfected dose. πŸ™‚

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    in reply to: I'm new here.. dealing with new normal. #128710

    andreaaaaaah
    Participant
    Post count: 16

    That pretty much sums it up for me too. Yeah. I really like when I’m with a talker so I can be the one to just sit back and zone out. But then again, sometimes I end up struggling hard to not interrupt them..I want to rid myself of this talky syndrome because I know the more I keep running my mouth the more awkward and super silly things I’m bound to spill out. I only shut up enough in the military out of fear and/or exhaustion. Of course I got in trouble many times too.

    Yeah. “Compelled to Talk” would be a great title of another ADHD book. I’d buy that one too! I just get sick of being in the spotlight. I put myself there, but really, I don’t want to be there. I’m wondering if fidget toys or gum would help this? I should start doing experiments for myself. I am going to make it my mission because I am determined to be a quieter person in the second and third part of my life. Any suggestions before I start thinking up possible logbook entries and survey data for my future prognosis?

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    in reply to: Introduction, and Experience #128701

    andreaaaaaah
    Participant
    Post count: 16

    Chris,
    I am off all my pills now but I know that my ADHD pills definitely helped me finally complete a college degree at age 32-33. I had to get my GED because I dropped out of high school. If I had been diagnosed properly earlier in life I honestly believe I would not have struggled so much as I did in school. Of course, whatever doesn’t kill you can make you stronger.. or whatever they say… but EFF that! I wasted so much time and an accumulated student loans just dicking around with like 6 college attempts total. And I tried.. I absolutely do not want pills in my body anymore but they really helped me do school. And with pills like Adderal, they don’t need to be taken daily. I rarely took mine in the summer or holidays. Anyway.. just from another perspective.

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    in reply to: Never ending ADD humor #128700

    andreaaaaaah
    Participant
    Post count: 16

    I love you guys! This is great!! Thanks!! πŸ™‚ HA!

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    andreaaaaaah
    Participant
    Post count: 16

    Wow.. You sound juuust like me when I was your age.. HA! If you are for real, just know its gonna be okay!! Okay?! Seriously.. People suck and they aren’t always gonna “get” you but just forget about them. If you have a loving family, that really helps. Its gonna be alright!! 13 can be a challenging age in itself but just be yourself and do your best always. If you always do the right thing and try your best than how can you go wrong? Right? Even if you end up doing something wrong because you weren’t paying attention.. Just refocus, Apologize if needed and fake it til you make it!

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    in reply to: Successful ADDers annoy the h*ll out of me. #128697

    andreaaaaaah
    Participant
    Post count: 16

    I really believe we are each important no matter what our “success” story is ..is yet to be! Or whatever.. Its all good.. We need each person of all working classes. As long as we are contributing positively to society..or not maybe. We need people to clean the bathrooms at stores, we need lawyers, doctors, cashiers, fast food employees, tax collectors, Disney World characters.. Whatever you do, just do your best. Don’t ever compare yourself to someone else. Of course some people struggle more than others. Or wait..How would you really know? Its life. Just be your very best at being you. That’s all we can do.

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    in reply to: Favorite Hobbies #128695

    andreaaaaaah
    Participant
    Post count: 16

    Soo many hobbies.. well I love to try everything and then find out which one I would realistically do again and enough of to make it a real hobby.. dremeling in wood, machine sewing, paper flowers, gardening, so many other artsy hand made crafty things are regular hobbies of mine.

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    in reply to: I'm new here.. dealing with new normal. #128694

    andreaaaaaah
    Participant
    Post count: 16

    One of the things I’m seeking help for is my compulsion to talk constantly or “overshare” at times when its just not necessary. .case in point above, with which I can’t seem to edit and delete half the things I typed at this point. Good lesson for future reference. Also saying too many things I think aloud. Nervousness and anxiousness with people. I just want to be done with it. How can I get these things under control?-Being anxious around others leads me to talk excessively. Yeah, I do draw laughs somehow and usually most people like me.. or do they? Maybe they just give me a charity laugh? Either way, I’m not into entertaining people, I want so badly to be the quiet one!! I just need tricks or things that really work. I just wanna be around animals all day but that isn’t fixing my problem or realistic. I think it just goes back to being insecure inside though, which is kind of dumb. Isn’t that probably most people’s real problem and reason for anxiety though? We start to worry what others will think of us. Or we let the bad things that have been said to us stick in our brains and make it our truth. Its such a crappy thing.. being insecure. What is the trick to get over it?

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    in reply to: I'm new here.. dealing with new normal. #128693

    andreaaaaaah
    Participant
    Post count: 16

    Thanks! Both of you! Wow! There is a lot more to all of our stories of course. The fertility thing- well that was initially the main reason to get off my pills but then after a certain point and with all my animals (dogs, chickens,etc) I realized infertility may be a gift from God. HA. It could still happen and we looked at foster/adoption.. but, no thanks today!! We have a great marriage and we’re around kids enough to feel that fulfillment, or whatever.

    Halobender.. I think you described me fairly accurately . I am always happy, smiling and full of light and laughter. I live to be in the sunshine. I stay away from negative people and try to pursue peace with all people. I just like to laugh and focus on the positive. Any other attitude or thinking leads to a dark hole.
    Naturally, I was super hard as nails-no-one-mess-with-me when I first got out of the military. Being a female in a man’s world taught me a lot. I was definitely not a drama queen in the military and I probably tried too hard to fit in with the boys club. Men are just waaay easier to get along and work with. There’s not all this emotional and catty BS all the time. Anyway, but there’s also downsides to being one of the 10%-15% females. I don’t need to get into any of that though.
    And my self medicating is not at all going into any opioid trail. No way!! I spent a lot of time in California while I was stationed there and after. I I believe in the green to treat many things versus the majority of these pills that have major chronic side affects. Opioids or any form of them in a street drug I am super against and am not even curious to try. I tripped off acid one time when I was 15 and that scared the crap out of me! I have been somewhat wild and super outgoing but I was still very sensible about rules and the law. I do not like to get into trouble. I like to have a clear conscious so I can sleep at night! I would get yelled at so much for not being on time, etc.. stupid little stuff that everyone else never had an issue with. Why give people more amno to yell at me! Ha! Right? I did finally complete a college program finally not too long ago. That was like a major milestone!

    Halobender– Thank you for your story, advice, encouragement, and care. I want to hear about your soul being lift up again.. I believe it will happen for you again. You need to believe that though too. Treatment? I got a lil fuzzy with your story…The green stuff became like a gateway drug for you? What about now if it was regulated somehow? Then again, maybe it would always be a slippery slope for some.
    I am really working on healthy habits. I got animals that keep me structured. Ha. I am really really super blessed in life right now. I did recently lose my full-time (new career) job recently(most likely due to my ditzy nature with a boss who was super together and perfect/organized at everything..seeing I was not) so I’m only working part time now again. It kind of made me feel like a failure but yet I have way less stress since getting fired from that boss. I know I frustrated him. His personality type was intolerant to repeating instructions more than once. I know I did my very very best though. I have no reason to complain about anything in life. I just want to make sure I am doing what I’m suppose to be doing.. I have it really good and I don’t feel like I deserve it so I just try to be my best. I thank God for my husband each and every day! He makes it so easy for me. I know other women my age who hate on me because I probably have it so good. I try not to take anything for granted though! The more thankful I am the more I seem to be blessed with.

    I’m excited to keep reading others stories on here because I know others have had different and probably tougher strides to take in life. They have faced more people treating them like an idiot longer or with harsher situations. I only meet someone like minded once in awhile. Its always sooo refreshing!! Well, I know I get all this from my mom.. its so clear.. That kind of mirror image strives me to be better though.

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    in reply to: I'm new here.. dealing with new normal. #128682

    andreaaaaaah
    Participant
    Post count: 16

    I was last on Adderal and Citalipram (Sp) -VA Issued. My military file says I’m diagnosed with Depression, ADHD, and PTSD. I have been off all prescription-man-made drugs for over a year now. I had to get off of my pills, they didn’t help our fertility issues. Gosh, that’s a whole other can of worms. Anyway, its been a real struggle but I am thankful to have all of my limbs and a healthy body. I know even writing this out would be more clear and concise if I was under the influence of my old ADHD medication. I just can’t go back to them. I won’t.

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