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So, I notice there are a lot of stories about keys being locked in cars. Here’s mine, I used to be a painter and had to meet a new guy at a fuel station and from there we would travel to the jobsite in his ute. Right, so along comes a car with heaps of painting gear in the back, I promptly put my own gear and lunchbox in the tray and begin to climb into the cab. It’s at this point, when I’m reaching for the seatbelt, that I realise that the driver is in fact someone I have never seen before. THE LOOK ON HIS FACE!!!!! Priceless. Well I apologised and took all my gear back out and proceeded to wait for the actual person I had to meet. I see him after some time and in fact he is driving a Jeep Cherokee and not a utility, he has parked in a bay to wash the windscreen not to fill up. We chat, I put my gear in the back and proceed to the passenger door, which is locked, so the other guy opens the driver door, hits a button, then closes the door. Now, my door is still locked, his door is now locked and the engine is still running. People have begun to line up behind us, people are becoming impatient, and this other guy is freaking out. I decide he can take my car back to his home where his spare keys are. He lives approximately one and a half hours round trip away. He leaves, I stay and try to console and direct people around the stationary locked still running vehicle. After ten minutes of abuse and threatening glares I begin to reassess my position. Decision made, retreat and watch from a distance. Hey, I’m not going to get beat up over someone else’s car. So i watch and try to pretend I have nothing to do with this bowser blocker. The other guy returns no more than two minutes after the last angry customer drives off, he asks me how it went. “Yeah good mate, no worries. People around here are so understanding”. And then we trundle off to work two hours late.
This other person has become a friend and has since actually been diagnosed with ADHD after two of his children were. Ha, so I guess we were doomed from the beginning.
REPORT ABUSEI’m thinking that if you were friends with the four legged pet as well then yes there could be a group rating. So what happens if you are friends with a couple that have a pet? Eight-legged friend? Do they then fall into an arachnid category? Geez, how many spiders am I friends with!!!!
REPORT ABUSEHiya, I know what you mean and it is hard to be accountable to yourself. I have the same issues and have tried repeatedly to improve though it always comes down to ” Yeah I nailed it for two weeks so that means I can do it” And that’s where I fail, if i know I can do something then I stop trying. It’s crazy in my opinion and frustrating for others to see so much potential but no willpower to follow through long term.
I involve my partner, tell her what I want to and need to do, we make a list for the week with priorities at the top. By involving her I become accountable to her. Now! This also has a flip side. If I really am lacking the motivation to get stuck into this list, she will begin to raise the issue to the point where all I hear is nagging. Which will push me further away, resulting in nothing but tension between us.
So, I don’t have any clear answers here but involving another person who understands how you are and how you tick, is a lot better than trying and struggling on your own. Also, keep it interesting. I challenge myself against the clock to finish something by a certain time. That keeps me poking along until I either run out of time or finish. At least I’m not stuck on the one thing all day and I may get some things complete and only start others. Also, when I haven’t achieved all I wanted she is great to point out that what I have done was actually a fair bit and what is left stays on the list to be finished the next day. I don’t make a new list until the old one is complete ( within reason, I don’t stay on a list for weeks)
Anyway bud, I hope SOMETHING in this post helps. If anyone else has good tips then I’m all ears as well cause I still have room for improvement. Maybe if i hire someone to follow me around all day poking me with a cattle prod when I lose track/ focus would be better? Hmmm, Google here I come.
REPORT ABUSEHi @adrift,
I’m only new here myself and I really and i mean really suck at giving advice. So that’s not what I’m writing for. I agree with what @blackdog has to say.
So I tried and failed to type something relevant here for about an hour, time to give up.
I find that having someone who understands to talk to (and this site is awesome for that) and in general taking those small steps and recognising the positive progress are a huge boost to the struggle. To reflect and say “Yeah, with a few small steps I can definitely see how it has helped me in the past week” means so much. Having a person who can see the positives that you miss, or agrees that even baby steps are better than crawling can mean so much. I personally see the negatives first, and it really takes some time and even my partner forcing me to see the positive until I start to look at my progress in a positive light.
It’s a bit crazy that when I train a horse, recognising when to pull up to have a break with one comes so easy, then when it comes to my personal progress all I see are the flaws and failures so keep charging ahead in anger which achieves nothing.
Sorry, today is not my day for insight. I can barely string two sentences together.
Oh I know!!! Move to Australia, we have a great health care system that costs bugger all.
Yeah crap advice, what did I say.
Anyway, hope you find some good info here because I’ve learned a lot about myself in the past few months through websites such as this one.
Cheers, Justin
REPORT ABUSE@quizzical When I go shopping It’s a bit of a manic adventure. My partner finds it funny seeing me with a wild look in my eye sliding around corners like Kramer (We split the grocery list, well, she has the list i just cruise around grabbing things. She says I’m good at finding things that we’ve forgotten to put on the list) This is all well and good until I come to an aisle which is full of people. . . . . skip that one come back later. . . . . If i remember to come back later WHICH ONE WAS IT!!!!! ARRRGGGHHHH I hate people wanting to use the grocery store when I’m there!!! This is all their fault!!! Now this is where it seems that everyone wants to walk in front of me, or maybe when I’m agitated it seems like that (No, they do it on purpose. I know they do) So after my best artistic representation of a Meth addict doing the groceries, we wait in line. . . . . . and wait . . . . . . . . and wait . . . . . . . . AND GOD DAMN HOW MUCH DO YOU PEOPLE WANT TO BUY!!!!! HURRY UP, I CAN BAG ITEMS QUICKER THAN THAT, HERE LOOK, OUT OF THE WAY, MY TURN.
THEN, when it is my turn. It’s like ” quick get everything out of the cart and scan it, quick quick quick, look at all the people behind us, go faster’ they’re waiting’ gotta go gotta get out of the way for the next person go go go go go”
So yeah safe to say I’m probably never going to make friends when i shop.
@angelicdemon Ummm, just trying to reflect on this so called “hunter vision” of mine. That was just something that popped into this noggin of mine, not really a term I’ve used before but I guess yeah, to a degree that’s what it is. I bow hunt when I get the chance ( Yes i eat what I hunt) and during the hunt, which is long periods of NOTHING, I have an awareness that I never have during everyday life. Smells, tracks, noises, wind direction and the lay of the land all come together for split second decisions as to what/ where I’m going or doing. Now even though I am aware of everything, I’m calm. I control my breathing, move short distances slowly, head movements are in slow motion and a fair bit of ” If I were this animal, what would i be doing at this point of the day”.
What I’m trying to say is that (I’ve only just realised this now) I am trying to simulate this hunter awareness in everyday land. Just the awareness, I don’t think if i started sneaking around stalking people staking out pubs etc. that I would be allowed to continue living in society. Watching, waiting, learning their habits and anticipating next moves. . . . . . . . . . . . . . I really should delete that part but I laughed at it so yeah, It stays.
Ok, back to what i was trying to say. Through momentum and constantly looking around in a sort of ” Quick I was doing something, what is it, what was it, look, move, retrace and find” I can usually pop in and out of what I was doing and still stay on track, a very jagged ziggity zaggety track I admit.
Thinking about it now, this constant motion helps to keep me from getting lost inside of my head, so easy to become withdrawn with my own thoughts that interacting with the world constantly pulls me back out. At the end of the day, I want to feel like I have accomplished “enough”. Sometimes enough is never enough so I have to take a step back and actually see what I have done.
Yeah, time to don the urban ghillie suit and head into town.
REPORT ABUSEThanks guys, i really love this site. The support and positive atmosphere is truly a great big gulp of fresh air.
Ok so I’m gonna try to keep this short, got a 10 minute timer on myself for computer use, otherwise I’m like @blackdog and googling, youtubing and whatever else I do on a PC.
As I’m on a timer (5 mins gone already!!!!!!!!) I’d better just say that I really appreciate the comments posted and have a bit of good news. Got myself an appointment with a Psychiatrist for this week. Not really looking forward to it but I just want to get it over and done with, otherwise I will procrastinate and put it off until anxiety grabs me by the shoulder. So I think i have all I need for the appointment and we shall see.
Gone over my 10 minutes now (Damn you facebook and Google images of Great Danes) so i shall have to bid you farewell.
Cheers
BTW i really wanted to talk about every ones posts here so don’t think I’m rude or dismissive or . . . . . . ADHD? Ha, I just had no idea of what i would find on my post when i allotted myself to 10 mins. Or is it 20 mins now?
REPORT ABUSEI’m picking up what your putting down, I first came across researching ADHD about two years ago whilst looking for ( and now that i have a name and a diagnosis) information about RLS. It really came as a huge surprise that there were other people who suffered from the same thing that i did. Ever since i was a child this creeping/ electric ant feeling has haunted and gotten worse to the point that I was desperate after seeing a couple of doctors who had no idea of what i was talking about. One actually laughed at me which was more hurtful than i could ever put into words, so after nothing from doctors i started looking for answers myself. (One doctor decided i was depressed, how? Meh i have since learned that some anti-depressants and anti-histamines make RLS worse) This is where i first saw that there was a link between RLS and ADHD, to which my first reaction was “Pfft, whatever, i just need to run and do heaps and never slow down in order to sleep. I dont have an attention problem”.
That was over two years ago and this whole ADHD thing has kept creeping back into my thoughts which in turn made things that people said about me stand out a bit more. As in “Wow you must have been ADHD as a child” My reply “Nah i was never the naughty kid”. As if i were trying to fool myself, i was always the naughty kid, the list is huge of my nefarious exploits.
So after having some issues with the change of pace and even though the actual work is near identical, we have a different routine here now, my partner pushed me to seek help. I literally exploded with what i was feeling and the way that my head will just never shut off. I was living of roughly 3 Hrs sleep a day at the time, could not switch off at all. While we were with the GP I was as usual looking at any and everything in the room. After realising something was said as all the attention was on me I looked to my partner who said “It’s your decision, you decide”. My utter bewilderment must have shown because the doctor asked what was wrong. I then decided that i didn’t care if he thought i was Nuts so marched into a detailed story of how i was listening to him, making eye contact, he looked to my partner, my eyes followed, on the way over though! I saw a fax machine! Eyes come back to the doctor? Nope, that fax machine, why is it on the floor? Is it broken? Must be. . . Geee i just wanna rip that fella apart and have a good look inside, maybe i could fix it? If i couldn’t i could learn to. That’d be awesome knowing all about circuitry and how it all fits together, just like in Tron. . . . . . . . This is where i realise that something was said and all eyes are on me.
So he referred me to a Psychologist, who basically told me that my sleep was F$*ked, his words. After seeing him four times now and having my RLS ABOLISHED!!!!!! Oh my god, Its so unreal to not have this sensation anymore! And sleep somewhat normalised, even though i need, and i know all about sleep hygiene but the only way i can go to sleep at a decent hour is to have a TV with David Attenborough playing in the bedroom.
Anyway, my Psychologist has told me that i need to see a Psychiatrist in order to get diagnosed for him to go any further with me. Being only a small town i wonder if he has other people see him like me. Overthink it why don’t you Justin. Kidding.
So i guess that after seeking answers online, I now have more questions though i now have a direction to point them in. It wasn’t until i started reading other people’s personal journey’s that it all started to become real for me. This whole denial process i had in my head just collapsed after reading and knowing first hand all of these things that affect people with ADHD. I feel a bit of a faker/poser/cheater as i actually don’t have a diagnosis. Ahh waiting is so much fun. But yeah, this site is basically the first place that i have thought “Maybe I can fit in here”. Without the judgement, people telling me i must be on drugs because there is no way that any normal person could be the way you are.
So I believe my acceptance will come with a diagnosis, because even though I believe a diagnosis is inevitable, there is still that part of me that says “Come on man, we don’t have any conditions. We just happen to tick most of the boxes, so what, that doesn’t mean anything”.
I read a thread about finding it hard to keep a grudge, I have tried to explain this to people over the years who just cannot understand. It’s like a come across as someone who doesn’t care about anything. Not so, I can’t explain it.
Sorry ladylavender, I yarble. Really need to write down what i want to say BEFORE i start typing.
REPORT ABUSEI like that, as i sort of do something similar. Maybe not so creative as having Sherlock with me. I realised a while back that i really don’t listen to people as much as i should though i do pick up bits and pieces of what is said to then form my own investigation as to what I was required to do. Like having a list of instructions on paper with a fair bit of text missing. And THEN! Pull out that pipe and tweed coat to figure the rest out myself. Works most of the time. Or does it, I’m sure my partner would like to disagree. Selective hearing she calls it.
Anyhow, I guess its easy to say “Goddamn, I’ve forgotten what i was doing! D#&khead”.
Totally lost what i was gonna say there but I just had this thought, I have been called hyperactive a lot in my life and wonder whether ( There is a PeeWee bird attacking the glass door right now) it is a symptom or whether i have encouraged myself into this as i seem to make up for my forgetfullness as i am screaming around doing tasks so fast that i have a sort of “Hunter Vision” where all i have to do is look around and immediately see what i was/ have to do. I really believe i have relied on this to get me so far in my job, that i can just take a quick look and come to the same conclusions or better ones in a split second. Gone, damn you PeeWee. Next task! What have i done? Who cares I’m doing stuff don’t talk to me, oh I’m sorry you wanted to talk about the Vietnam War? Sure nothing else matters now, lets talk. . . . . . 1hr later. . . . . And that’s why i believe that dogs are awesome.
Hope you don’t mind my directionless reply.
Anyway, I better wrap this up
REPORT ABUSEYeah so i guess i kinda lost everything i wanted to say there. Nil caffeine has that effect on me. Basically i wanted to say that I’m kinda having doubts about a diagnosis due to the fact that i have had great success but still really struggle with everything. Relationship wise, my partner and i have many issues, i only really have one mate, really struggle during quiet times etc. I dunno, people say that you have to talk to get things off your chest but every time i do it seems like i say the wrong thing/ don’t get my point across or have people tell me that I’m normal and like the rest of them. Well yeah I am normal, so why the hell isn’t everyone on my plane of thought? Guess just see how it plays out right?
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