Dr. Umesh Jain is now exclusively responsible for TotallyADD.com and its content

shutterbug55

shutterbug55

Forum Replies Created

Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 394 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • in reply to: Post diagnosis blues #127015

    shutterbug55
    Participant
    Post count: 430

    Other people don’t matter. They are asking the impossible of you. They want you to conform to their world. They don’t understand your world. They never will. They want you to think and act like everyone else. Believe me, if you could, you wouldn’t have ADD.

    My teachers in second grade were always telling me to pay attention ( I am inattentive ADD among other things). My mind did not want to work on math, instead it wanted to work out how high a rocket built for an Estes “C” motor would go if an “E” were used instead (It goes REAL high and explodes). I was working out the math for that experiment instead. It involved trig and geometry, which were much more interesting to play with.

    So why was I failing second grade? I couldn’t read. I have dyslexia as well. Their methods of teaching reading didn’t reach me. They were trying to fit me into their world.

    What does this have to do with you? I am sure you have similar stories, where you were required to fit into their world. It ended up frustrating the heck out of you and them.

    You now have a diagnosis. You know why you are the way you are. So start the process of figuring out how to bend their world to yours. This is done with medications, to help your brain recognize your behaviors and reactions and alter them, before you get derailed. Getting counseling is great, if it also includes teaching you coping mechanisms to get your mind to work on the things you need to work on. Finally, read up on ADHD. Learn how it affects your brain, your motor skills, and all the other things like executive function, working memory. All of these things will help you direct your brain, instead of just being along for the ride.

    REPORT ABUSE
    in reply to: Post diagnosis blues #127012

    shutterbug55
    Participant
    Post count: 430

    @lindsey3

    I think everyone goes through “The Blues”. Let’s face it it’s grief. As someone who was diagnosed with ADHD, you are going through the grief process. You lost something. Whether it was “if only someone had noticed sooner, I wouldn’t have struggled with school.” “I could have been a… if only…”. It could be the tape playing in your head is “Why me?”.

     

    I wrote something like this a few years ago, in response to someone going through what you are experiencing now. The best answer I have found was written by Dr Kevin T. Blake, Ph.D.

    He writes: “One emotional concern that has far too often been overlooked in adults who have for the first time been diagnosed as having learning disabilities and/or ADHD is that of grief. Grief is a normal reaction to a traumatic life event (i.e., death in the family, diagnosis of cancer, loss of a job, diagnosis of a learning disability, etc.) Grief has definite stages which may lead to resolution as was demonstrated by Kubler-Ross’ work with terminal cancer patients in England. Persons going through a grief reaction may experience a loss of interest in things they previously found pleasurable, depressed mood,
    sluggishness, problems with sleep and/or appetite, as well as guilt. Grief has a natural progression and is usually time limited.
    Murphy and LeVert (1995) wrote about the six stages of coping that a person may experience following the diagnosis of ADHD. These can be applied to those with learning disabilities. They are as follows:
    Stage 1: Relief and Optimism
    I’m not retarded, I’m not schizophrenic, I’m not Bi-Polar or just plain stupid. I have ADHD….
    Stage 2: Denial
    There is no such thing as ADHD, I’m just lazy…
    Stage 3: Anger and Resentment
    If my third grade teacher would have noticed this, I may have gone to college….
    Stage 4: Grief
    My undiagnosed ADHD made life so painful for me…
    How do I cope with ADHD and repair the damage of the past….
    Stage 5: Accommodation
    I accept I have ADHD, I am using work/school accommodations to compensate for it…
    2
    Initially it was believed the grief reaction adults would have to receiving a
    diagnosis of learning disabilities and/or ADHD would be non-existent or at the very worst, quite mild. However, as clinical antidotes have been accumulated this does not necessarily appear to be the case. The severity and chronicity of the grief reaction an adult with learning disabilities and/or ADHD may experience appears to be quite variable. Individuals with very mild learning disabilities and/or ADHD symptoms without a history of significant life trauma may experience a minimum grief reaction. If the person does have a grief reaction its course tends to be short and that person reaches a level of acceptance of the disability quickly, with few relapses. ”

    I don’t have the source for this quote, so if he isn’t a prolific writer, you might want to read this in context.

    REPORT ABUSE
    in reply to: Cognitive Fatigue #126967

    shutterbug55
    Participant
    Post count: 430

    While I am down the rabbit hole, my brain feels alive. Thoughts come faster. I am able to sift through data faster and winnow out superfluous data far easier. I can access and organize steps to solve the problem.

    After I am done, I am drained. I usually sleep, eat some, sleep some more. It is almost like recovering from a cold.

    REPORT ABUSE
    in reply to: Starting to question diagnosis #126964

    shutterbug55
    Participant
    Post count: 430

    Hello ikyte and Coldhandedman,

    The evaluations they give you are filled our by you. Which everyone knows we are all bright enough to manipulate the outcomeof the evaluation. Hopefully we won’t, but its just too tempting(fun) to do. Manipulating the outcome, doesn’t get you treated for your condition, it just proves you can lie convincingly. The goal is to get treated.

    They also give the same evaluation to members of your family, long term friends, mom, dad, brothers. Try getting them to manipulate the answers and see how far you get.

    Once they have a chance to evaluate all the scores, they can determine how well you do at self-assessment, and how your friends and family perceive your condition.

    The good doctors will use several tests which expose different facets of your condition. All of these tests and evaluations, along with interviews give them a pretty good picture.

    REPORT ABUSE
    in reply to: So we're loners so what? #126949

    shutterbug55
    Participant
    Post count: 430

    Cropmom,

    People with ADD can be loners and loners can be ADD. One is not a sub set of the other, only an intersection.

    We are ADD because of how our brains are wired. That is a condition of the structure and chemistry of our brains.

    Throughout our lives, experience may have taught some of us to prefer the company of our own thoughts to that of people.  To other ADDers, experience has shown them not to avoid people. Who is to say that that is how we would be without being ADD?

    I sometimes envy people like Rick and Patrick, who can get up in front people and entertain/educate them. It is very difficult for me even present findings on research or lecture on subjects which I am expert in. I have a real problem talking with people. To me, “The more the merrier” is some kind of sick joke.

     

    REPORT ABUSE
    in reply to: Cognitive Fatigue #126947

    shutterbug55
    Participant
    Post count: 430

    Hi Rick!

    Great reply. Thank you. Since writing my question, I found a definition for Cognitive Fatigue that pretty well describes it. Cognitive fatigue is a failure to maintain and optimize performance over acute but sustained cognitive effort resulting in performance that is lower and more variable than the individual’s optimal ability.

    In terms us non doctors can understand: That brain drain that happens when we are working too hard on one thing.

    I am the type that hyper focuses. I call it “Going down the rabbit hole”. When I am working in that state, the outside world ceases to exist. I can disappear for hours (days) and take no break. I know. Very unhealthy. To stop some of it from happening, I have an office in my house that is part of the family room, not sequestered in an unused room, behind a closed door.

    My coach was talking to me about taking more breaks, and setting a timer so I take them, A few nuts for snacks, and exercise and sleep as a way to minimize cognitive fatigue. The timer is bothers, so I don’t use it.  Sleep? Yea. Right. Sleep is like unicorns. I hope I see some, but I doubt I ever will.

    To me, taking breaks is counter-intuitive. Breaks are too much like interruptions, which annoy the heck out of me. Besides, how can I be more efficient, when I am chopping up my work time with breaks? What happens if I get distracted and don’t come back from a break? How do I remember where I left off, so I can start up again, when I do come back?

    How do normals deal with this?

     

    REPORT ABUSE

    shutterbug55
    Participant
    Post count: 430

    College is a scary, different place. Especially if you are going to college away from home. You are now responsible for so many things your parents used to do for you. Add to that, demanding subjects, competing deadlines, and professors who assign work as if theirs is the only class you are taking. Did I sum it up OK?

    If you think you have ADD, then see if your school has a psych clinic. Make an appointment and get yourself tested. I don’t know what your school’s schedule is, but take a quarter off. Testing takes a while. It takes a lot of time and energy to get the diagnosis and assimilate all the information. You might want to take some time and get some counseling in to help you develop tools to help you with your classes. Taking that time now, might save having to re-take classes or find another major.

    I look at it as building a foundation. A house will not stand (for very long) unless it was built on a foundation. Most NT’s out there, have that foundation already built. We need to work on it.

    Of course these are all suggestions. I did none of this, and I didn’t discover I had ADD until I was in my early 50’s.

    REPORT ABUSE
    in reply to: Starting to question diagnosis #126928

    shutterbug55
    Participant
    Post count: 430

    Take an Asperger’s Syndrome evaluation.

    REPORT ABUSE
    in reply to: Found out 20 years ago I was diagnosed. #126819

    shutterbug55
    Participant
    Post count: 430

    First off, we don’t “Grow out of  ADD/ADHD”. The condition is hardwired into our brains. We get better at coping with the condition as we get older. We do this by adding more and more tools to employ to situations. The condition is still there. It is just better hidden.

    Let’s take a look at bad habits. At work when I get overwhelmed by too many things to do, I have a tendency to not do anything. This is a bad habit reaction to my ADD. My ADD makes it very difficult to prioritize and move out of being overwhelmed. That is a problem with executive function.

    One of my coping mechanisms is prioritizing based on due date. Coping machanism = tool. I can solve any problem. That comes to me from my Autism. So I make a check list, order it due date and complete the first task, then the next, and the next.

    What does this have to do with you? You get a diagnosis, you seek counseling, and you get on meds. This is the three=leg stool that will help you cope. The diagnosis is to help you label your condition and identify areas you need to work on. The counseling takes the guess work out of finding coping mechanisms to help you with your rough spots. The meds give your brain a chance of identifying situations and reactions BEFORE you get sucked into habitual behavior.

    Hope this helps.

    REPORT ABUSE
    in reply to: Help! What's wrong with my meds #126781

    shutterbug55
    Participant
    Post count: 430

    I take Adderall as well. I did notice some lethargy which was confusing, because my heart rate was up. I also got a what I can only describe as a tight feeling in my face like all the skin on my head was being drawn back.

    My Psychiatrist wanted to up my dose to 20mg and I cut it in half to 5mg, instead.

    No more side effects and my symptoms are greatly reduced. I can tell when I am getting frustrated, so instead of going from 0-liftoff, I can do something about it. I don’t go down the rabbit hole NEARLY as much, and I haven’t spaced out in a long time.

    Having said that, I am not a physician. You should talk to your doctor, before “experimenting”. That is why I don’t give any advice other than relate what worked for me.

    We all have this unique construct between our ears called a brain. What works for me might not work for you, but it might. The symptoms that bugged the heck out of me(and those around me) were impulse control(quick temper), Loss of time (Shutting out the world to solve  a problem), constantly loosing things, burning things, forgetting things, making mistakes(Working memory/executive function).

    Adderall seems to give me a chance at employing some coping mechanisms, before I mess up without knowing I have messed up.

    REPORT ABUSE
    in reply to: How many noises are in your head? #126770

    shutterbug55
    Participant
    Post count: 430

    It was explained to me like this. If the sounds/voices/noises are inside your head, you are OK. If the sounds/voices/noises are outside your head (auditory hallucinations), you might have something going on.

    REPORT ABUSE
    in reply to: Daylight Savings Problems? #126760

    shutterbug55
    Participant
    Post count: 430

    Do you like routines? Do routines make you feel safe? Does changing to or from daylight savings time disrupt your routines?

    REPORT ABUSE
    in reply to: So we're loners so what? #126690

    shutterbug55
    Participant
    Post count: 430

    Great observation, Blackdog!

    I think most people out there need other people, because if they were alone, there would be nothing to their lives. It is as if the people around them are mirrors, and they need to see themselves. We, on the other hand have rich lives inside our heads because we exist separate from people, some times by choice and sometimes not.

    REPORT ABUSE
    in reply to: Going Potty Over Media Manipulation #126688

    shutterbug55
    Participant
    Post count: 430

    Here in the US, it is very much about entertainment and not about news information. When I was growing up, watching Walter Kronkite and Huntley & Brinkley with my parents, I wanted claw my eyes out or beat my head against the floor because they ware SO BORING!!! They delivered the news, facts and when it came time for a commentary, it was labeled “Commentary”.

    As time went on, I got annoyed at the talking heads, who slanted the news to entice people to watch their shows. The internet, promised multiple views of the events, without agenda. That proved FAR off the mark, because the “News” outlets are competing for clicks which turn into dollars flowing into their bank accounts. We ended up with hundreds of news sources all trying to one up the rest, to get our clicks.

    It is no wonder the toddler story is so over the top. Who would read about a toilet-training toddler story? Not even an ADD desperately trying to avoid chores, would tune into that.

    I am still trying to find a credible source for news information, but I keep running into the same garbage. Maybe journalism is dead. I am pretty sure Walter, Chet, and David are collectively rolling in their graves.

    REPORT ABUSE
    in reply to: ADHD out of sync, non-verbals, on-topic #126588

    shutterbug55
    Participant
    Post count: 430

    Hello ramblinon,

    I don’t consider myself to be terribly creative. People have told me I am creative, but I just don’t recognize that in myself.

    I’m curious, what tipped you off?

    REPORT ABUSE
Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 394 total)