How about in the scenario where both partners have ADHD should they then consider a marriage knowing going in that neither is going to be perfect and that they can only try their best. Both DH and I have ADHD, but our symptoms are different and we are able to support one another and understand that neither of us will ever be perfect.
Of course we had children and both of our children are also ADHD along with multiple co-morbid disabilities that mirror our own and our families. So you could say that because we are both ADHD from families parented by two ADHD parents on each of our sides, each side was parented by two ADHD families. Along with all the co-morbids until you came to our children who can be seen as a microcosm of all the polluted genes that they have. This is exactly why they sterilized people with major developmental disabilities so that the genes were not carried on, even though there is now no evidence that 2 developmentally delayed people will have a developmentally delayed child. But DH and my family mirror one another to a large extent. We each had a grandfather who had Anitsocial Personality Disorder, there is plenty of Bi-polar in each side of the family. There were multiple members with social and situational disorders, lots of addictions, and on and on. ADHD runs rampant through the family so it is unsurprising that the large proportion of the people have it and that it is passed down to each successive generation. When dh was younger it was blamed on his red hair. For myself I was just hyper and of course I would grow out of it. I have a brother who was also diagnosed with ODD which later becomes Antisocial and so we were only a little surprised when our oldest daughter was diagnosed with it at age 5.
So knowing these things should we advise our children to be sterilized, or suggest that they never form any attachments because of what could happen should they have children. It is a problem but one which even with our history gives no guarantees if they meet and marry “normals” they will pass these on to their children. Maybe if they were to develop blood tests they could tell if there fetus is likely to have a number of the co-morbids and ADHD that our children have. If they are going to develop these conditions maybe they will have developed a system where these kids can be raised to be normal and break the cycle that we ourselves have never been able to be. But for the most part I am happy with the way my brain functions. I wish that I had a little more organization and could part with things. I wish I didn’t have as many social anxieties as I do and could function better in “normal” society but I can grasp concepts and ideas much easier because my brain is much more flexible than most “normals”. My bi-polar is more manic then depressive, and I do not often get angry (of course when I start “seeing” red look out) and am usually happy go lucky. In a crisis I am level headed and can strategize with the best of them. So maybe because I am not “normal” I didn’t stress as much as others about my children. Yes they were both born Oppositional Defiant, and we went through the teenage years starting when they were 5 or 6. When our oldest got into serious addictions I searched out and found programs to get them in. Tough love is for “normals” not ODD children so we had to protect our kids even from themselves not throw them out the door and let them sleep in the cold, so maybe there is a reason that I was made the way I was. At least I believe there has to be a reason. (As for our kids marrying normals they seem to be biologically drawn to ADHD and co-morbid people, so is that nurture or nature, tough question) 