Re: ADD and marriage. Something to think about.

[Wgreen]

Now, now. No ad hominem attacks. I plainly stated that no jurisdiction in the US or Canada would ever outlaw ADD marriage “for all sorts of reasons.” And I’m certainly not advocating any official public policy. All I suggested was an exercise of personal discretion.

What I see on this site (and others) are large numbers of spouses who’ve had it with ADD/ADHD partners. They can’t take it anymore. They type HELP!!!! in their headlines.

So how do we respond to these people’s utter frustration? They deserve our compassion, ¿no? We can’t say, “Hey, we are what we are and you need to deal with it, even if it drives you out of your mind and into bankruptcy,” can we? I guess I’m not the kind of guy who thinks we have a right to happiness at the cost of somebody else’s sanity. I understand that many respond well to medication and coaching. Great! Go ahead and say “I do.” But others are not so fortunate, for whatever reason.

My thesis is simply this: If your ADD/ADHD is severe enough that it presents such symptoms as, say, frequent bouts of violent temper, financial squandering, compulsive gambling, lying, promiscuity, and/or an inability to hold down a job (among other things), you should see if you can muster some charity and refrain from imposing your dysfunction on another person, even if you love her/him—unless that person knowingly signs on for a life on a relentless roller coaster.

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