The Forums › Forums › For The Non-ADD › I Married An ADDer › ADD and marriage. Something to think about. › Re: ADD and marriage. Something to think about.
“ADD/ADHD is not a severe mental handicap.”
Really? Then what YOU have and what I have are not the same thing. What I have is a debilitating neurological disorder. There’s nothing “wonderful” about it.
It has been suggested before by some members of this forum that perhaps we need two bulletin boards: one for people who have a hard time finding their keys and reading a book, and another for people whose lives have been turned upside down since childhood by an insidious disorder.
It’s clear that many forum members are talking about apples and oranges. That makes conversation difficult.
But Cakat01, you do bring up an interesting point:
It is true that many ADDers have made enormous contributions to the arts. Many of those artists also have led tormented lives. Vincent van Gogh reportedly cut off his ear so he’d stop hearing voices. I don’t know that VVG had ADD. Even if he did, I think it’s certain he also suffered from something else even more sinister. But was his fabulous art worth his personal hell? I don’t know. (It should be noted that many people without ADD/ADHD are also amazingly creative.)
But let me be clear. Perfectly clear. I’m not talking about creating a world that is “ADDfrei.” My point is simply this: If one has a severe neurological disorder that, for whatever reason, is difficult to mitigate, a disorder that stands in the way of having a true, loving partnership, then PERHAPS one should consider refraining from making covenants one can’t keep (unless your significant other is fully aware of your handicap and doesn’t care.) Some, above, have called that Naziism. I call it an act of charity. In any event, I’m not talking about everybody with ADD/ADHD—just a subset. And you know who you are.
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