Re: Mild ADD? Or Midlife Crisis? Wondering/Obsessing, and in Need of a Pep Talk

[sdwa]

If you want an accurate diagnosis, it might be better to see a psychiatrist than a regular family-practice type of doc. My psy-doc is a woman. She figured it out right away.

It sounds like you’ve gone over and are aware of the symptoms. What I’m hearing in your post is that you’re anxious and obsessing, which is kind of ADDish (do you tend to get stuck in a mental loop and having trouble shifting your attention out of it?) and your brain is run by a middle-manager who takes long lunches, and you’re often late (do you feel like you have more time than you do, or do you notice time expanding and contracting in relation to what you’re doing?) You procrastinate – but do you rise to the occasion in a crisis, or when there is a looming deadline, and suddenly you’re hyper-focused? You say you feel overwhelmed & scattered (which, yes, any mother would), and you sometimes miss important appointments. Do you feel exhausted all the time? Like the basics of daily living are more demanding than running a marathon?

How much are the symptoms affecting your life? The main reason to get an official diagnosis is to get a prescription for stimulants. If you think you might have ADD, you could do more research on it to see if there are coping strategies for the difficulties you face which might be useful even if you don’t have ADD. But if you can’t implement? Then you probably have ADD. LOL.

Have you had these problems all your life?

Right now, I am reading a book called “Women with ADD” by Sari Solden. If you are in a bookstore, I would suggest reading the stories in it to see if you can relate to them. Women are different.

I got my diagnosis when I was 45. I wish I had known earlier – about 20 years earlier. I went down many blind alleys and dead ends searching for explanations as to Why I’m Like This, and Why I Feel Different. Because I’ve always known I’m not on the same planet as most people, and my life has been a huge struggle: jobs, relationships, money, a chronic sense of directionless and feeling of wasted potential that I wish I could access but don’t know how. I was a good student, but that doesn’t mean much, because I was an art major. LOL.

One clue to my diagnosis was that my son has ADHD. When I learned about the symptoms, I started wondering. And I tried some of his medication. Oops! It was like a light coming on. Suddenly I felt relaxed, and I was able to walk down the street and say hello to people without feeling freaked out. Usually if stimulants relax a person, that’s indicative.

One caveat: The pills do not solve everything, they just make it so I can think, without having to sort through a thousand pounds of mental clutter. It’s easier for me to be more self-aware and notice my own behavioral patterns. Many symptoms I thought didn’t apply to me actually do, with increased objectivity.

So, I would suggest that you go ahead and see a doctor, ideally one who has experience treating people with ADD. What have you got to lose (other than the cost of going)? No reason to feel silly about being concerned about your health. As women I think we get more of the “you’re a hypochondriac” type of response from doctors, but hey, they get paid to address patient concerns, not to act mopey and disappointed when we’re not deathly ill. Personally I think it’s because women are different and most medicine is based on a male model – so if men don’t experience something, it must not be real. Or something. Le sigh.

Check it out. You’re still you, in any case.

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