You have had quite a struggle to get to where you are, but you’re here!!! That’s the important thing. I think that we spend our lives being berated by people for our behavior and people of a certain ‘age’, didn’t know what was wrong with us. I always say that I was RIGHT BEFORE the ‘Ritalin Generation”. I think that we struggle with self esteem and everything that comes with it because our whole lives we are expected to act a certain way, behave in a certain manner and when we don’t, we are not met with understanding or compassion, we are met with frustration and anger. It’s a tough thing to do (I’m learning to do it day by day myself) but I try and just ignore the people who don’t understand. Unfortunately, you’re in laws seem to be the worst of your problem, but I agree with no dopamine, you are not legally or even morally obligated to interact with them. I always found it odd that we are supposed to tolerate treatment from people under the label of ‘family’ that we would never put up with from a stranger.
I have to say that this site has been pretty life changing for me, so keep using it, utilize the tools, use the forums. I’ve found more support and information on the couple of months that I have been on here than I had in the decades before my own diagnosis, and remember that you are a wonderful person with a very REAL issue. Just because people can’t ‘see’ it doesn’t mean it’s not there. I remember the first time that I saw a psychiatrist for treatment. I was scared to death, the stigma of ‘mental illness’ freaked me out. As I was sitting filling out my paperwork, an acquaintance sat next to me in a chair and said to me “Remember, no matter what they tell you, it’s all chemical. It’s no different than being a diabetic.” I consider that woman an angel, but I have to say that now, eight years later I can say that sure, it’s not different than diabetes, but diabetics are met with empathy and kindness, people struggling with any kind of mental illness or difficulty are met with either morbid curiousity, or out and out scorn. Just keep fighting the good fight. It sounds like you’ve already conquered more demons than you think 