Re: Carrying a Guilt

[Anonymous]

I am struggling with this as we speak TheGameGuy. It is perfectionism at least that’s what someone articulated about me the other day. Perfectionism is always about being in the wrong. If you ever get the chance watch the American Dad Season 2 Episode 2. It’s about Stan getting fat and how hes fearful of being fat. The outcome of the show is epic to say the least. Such an awesome show unlike that family guy. Sorry off topic.. It would probably help for me to get treatment again and stick with it this time. I’ve had bad encounters with doctors and treatments hence quitting and starting a lot.

My perfectionism has caused more harm that good. In a video game I am able to create and completely perfectionist mentality quickly. I find outside of games (untreated adhd) the perfectionism dies hard. Giving up on tasks before its complete or self-defeating my ideas motivations because there is no means of doing them the right way due to self confidence. So yes it is a mechanism we do develop. During my treatment in late highschool early college, It seemed to help my perfectionist idealism and begin to conquer my short term goals. Without treatment failure takes its toll. Getting fired or getting denied a job over and over again is extremely exhausting and hurts. I recede back further and fall harder every time.

Anywho It’s been devastating and hard since I got fired a month ago.Its especially eye opening and very important to seek treatment in some form or fashion. It’s unfortunate that it takes so long to come to senses and seek the proper treatment.

“Well done Smith, I’m going to pat you on the bottem! – Ready!? — There it is!”

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