Re: Doubts about telling my family

[Anonymous]

Cindy, good luck talking with your dad, mine is 83 too (my mom passed away almost 3 years ago, she was the one with ADD and narcolepsy, sleep apnea etc, and would have been VERY supportive for me). I find it hard to talk about it with my dad because I would want to ask questions about my mom, which he might find painful (he’s in a new relationship now with a childhood friend, and doing very well). When I did ask him what I was like as a child (after telling him I was seeking a formal diagnosis since I felt sure I had ADHD), he went very quiet over the phone and then said “very active”. As a young girl, I was definitely very active and getting into trouble with all the neighbourhood boys, among other things. So I didn’t pursue it any further.

My mom kept all of our report cards (except the high school and university ones I got and later threw out), and these were requested by the ADD specialist I am seeing for the formal diagnosis, so that would be helpful if you haven’t been diagnosed yet. And any anecdotes about things during childhood, things teachers said, incidents, etc. would also be helpful in that respect.

I’m almost 56 years old, so there isn’t really much support I need or want from my dad. Our family pattern is to not talk about this sort of thing, so that’s really ingrained in me. I do see a psychologist regularly for meditation training (and we also deal with personal material that gets in the way of it), so I have someone to talk to about this sort of thing and how it’s affecting me these days. And this forum has been wonderful in meeting like-minded people who understand and don’t say “it’s all in your head” or “I have that problem too, it’s normal”.

Our family isn’t a physically demonstrative group either, so they get virtual hugs from me.

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