Re: There's a “tone” to my voice that everyone hates

[anniea]

I hope Learner checks back…

I have been thinking about speaking up for someone who didn’t for themselves nor did people who are closer in the intimacy circle. If you saw someone kicking a dog, or mistreating a cat or child, would you have said something? I have been the attacked person, and I have been one who did the attacking because of “my tone” NEITHER postion is plesant.

It took me years to listen and hear what people were saying to me…cutting remarks.. It took couseling and years of Ala-non… and I have been able to identify and cut some people loose

I have not always realized how I SOUND at times, and even told my crew I worked with, “please come and talk to me if I sound too harsh…I need to know how I come across.”… I was charge nurse day shift, and had more noise and commotion going on than I can even try to explain… so…. I KNEW I sometimes barked orders…I did not suffer fools well …. especially after weeks/months of talking, talking talking…. Some came and got to know me and my “ways” and I was so thankful for the input and feedback..even if at the time I didn’t. It truely has made me a better person….

I hve also been so thankful for people who have said something to the effect of… “whoa, did you MEAN that the WAY it sounded”? when someone said something to me, AND I did not catch it….. No truely it happened….

Monkeybarb IT IS UNBEARABLE when you CAN’T speak up for yourself…. but when you DO LEARN …WATCHOUT…I swung the other way for a while…(years).. and NOBODY got away with an eyebrow rise without me…wanting to know what they MEANT by that?? and then I mellowed out some… I hope…. I work on it all the time…. sometimes I have to call a neutral third person and bounce my reaction off of them. They know me, but can give me an other perspective.. it is progress not perfection…

This being human is messy business… we need all the support we can get…and give … and to quote Maya Angelou….when I know better I can do better…

Thanks for the thread… and the ideas and the chance to ponder out loud on paper..

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