Re: Pshychoanalysis anyone?

[Anonymous]

My day so far…..

Three hours sleep, then I woke and couldn’t return to sleep for ages. I taped my hubby snoring (LOL!!), fiddled with my phone, and eventually took a sedative to help, as my RLS was playing merry hell and I just was not going to get back to sleep without help. Missed hubby’s alarm going off, and woke to my iPod alarm, which my son had set for himself the day before (but had left the iPod in my room!). It was half an hour too late for me.

Raced around getting my daughter ready for school, then went to my son’s school for a parent teacher meeting due to issues with his behaviour. That went pretty well, and I think we are all on the same page for the time being. Rushed home to do a couple of things, then it was off to my next psychiatric appointment.

I did what I had planned to do. I asked to be referred on for a trial of stimulants, as well as to continue seeing him for therapy. He was convinced that it would not be useful to do both, as the medication would improve my symptoms, and thus take away the motivation for seeing him, though he was happy to see how things went. I am of the opposite viewpoint, as my son’s medication does not take away all of his symptoms, so there would still be motivation there. I also brought up my driving concerns, and he mentioned that we have to really monitor things, as therapy can often worsen symptoms temporarily. Great!!! Just what I need. So he conceded that medications might well be needed under those circumstances anyway.

So I go the name and number of yet another psychiatrist, and I have phoned and left a message, to try and get an appointment.

At the end of our session, we did ten minutes of “therapy”, as an example of how the process works. Yuck! I had better see some results soon, or I am not going to last long. We touched on my conflict with my mum as I was growing up, which wasn’t anything major when I look back, but which felt big to me at the time. I guess I always hated having to be the grown up one (I was the eldest of three) and I felt shunted to the side by my youngest brother’s youth, and my middle brother’s schooling issues and constant accidents. Afterwards my mind was full of guilt over wanting something he didn’t really approve of (medications), anxiety over having to go through yet another round of psych appointment making, referral getting etc, and stress over how I really felt about my parents when I was growing up. I felt like such an emotional wreck afterwards (especially after hardly any sleep) that I called in sick to work. And I ran a red light after the appintment. Which scares me enormously.

I have already decided I am going to have to change the time of one of my next appointments, so that I am not driving home in peak hour traffic. And if I have one more close call while driving, then I am going to have to re-evaluate things until I am on medication, unless the doc has a better suggestion to dealing with the driving issue. I am not willing to put others at risk like that.

Ugh! What stressful things we put ourselves through in the name of “health”.

REPORT ABUSE