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Re: impulsivity and perfectionism – frustrating combination! anybody else?

Re: impulsivity and perfectionism – frustrating combination! anybody else?2012-01-24T01:26:40+00:00

The Forums Forums Emotional Journey Is It Just Me? impulsivity and perfectionism – frustrating combination! anybody else? Re: impulsivity and perfectionism – frustrating combination! anybody else?

#111815

Outoftune
Member
Post count: 53

YES!!!

The short answer is YES completely! You sound exactly like me in this regard! Especially the feeling driven to make impulsive decisions yet the perfect decision! It’s a battle we are bound to lose! I love that you used the makeup/beauty product example! Several years ago I was modelling and was fixated on finding the perfect shampoo, mascara, lip gloss, hair color etc… It got to the point that my hair started breaking off from getting my hair highlighted then darkened then highlighted then darkened trying to get the perfect shade. I was going to the salon every 2 weeks and had to start going to different salons so they wouldn’t ask questions. I would literally go to a beauty products store every day or everyother day and purchas a new mascara, lip gloss, what have you and the next day decide it wasn’t right for me and the next day be back searching for the perfect mascara, shampoo etc…

It got so bad my husband was so concerned at all the money I was wasting on this pointless cycle and we added up how much I had been spending and looked at my stash (containing at least 30 shampoos, mascaras, lips glosses etc…and lets just say my heart sank to the floor! It was probably over a thousand dollars on shampoo alone and who know how many hundreds of makeup products not to mention the salon bills EEEEKKK!!! Then i got out of modelling and got back into horses and it shifted to finding the perfect saddle, bridle, horse feed, etc… I was diagnosed with ADHD combined type with severe rating especially in the impulsive category and since starting treatment it has gotten alot better! I haven’t even been in a tack store (place where they sell horse equipment) since.

I find that there is still that underlying urge screaming at me but barely noticible and is becoming less and less to get fixated on what would be the perfect feeding plan for my horse and I have gone one or two times to many to the feed store however bags of feed are under $20 so that beats an $800 saddle by a long shot! lol I’m quite proud of myself and how much money I’m saving! It’s a great feeling to have that never satisfied feeling finally subside and finally for the first time ever in your life feel mostly contented with yourself and what you have! Good luck with the diagnosis! I bet it will change your life! :) I was only diagnosed a couple of weeks ago and It’s already changed mine!

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