Re: My Story

[Scattybird]

Hi Alex

Thank you for keeping us updated with how things are progressing.

It does seem strange that your doctor focused on your sexuality IF it isn’t an issue for you. Maybe because you’re relatively young he thinks you are still finding out who you are. Some 18 years olds are still quite ‘young’ if that makes sense. However, you seem very articulate and mature in your posts and if you are comfortable with your sexuality then I don’t see why it should be the focus of the discussions with you. It sounds like he’s trying to tease out what might be issues for you. I am sure you Mother is a great support to you and it is a wonderful thing to have a good relationship with your family, but at the same time they must listen to YOU and not to her perceptions of what might be going on in your head.

It is difficult to tease out the symptoms of depression from those of ADD. However, you are right about the inattentive subtype. According to Barkley there isn’t actually a hyperactive subtype, but there is an inattentive subtype and also a combined subtype (in which people show varying degrees of hyperactivity and impulsivity). There seems to me to be a sliding scale of these symptoms and we all fit onto that scale somewhere.

Also adults don’t exhibit the same hyperactivity as children. So someone could be hyperactive but that might be exppressed internally rather than jumping around.

So, what to do?

For your next visit, check out as much as possible about the inattentive subtype and write down how you think that describes you. You can ask him questions – couch them innocently so it doesn’t make you look like you know more than him (as you said above).

Just ask him to explain exactly why he thinks your symptoms are of depression rather than ADD? Make notes if you think you might forget his answers. Don’t forget you are an adult and you have a right to ask about your health and symptoms. You’re talking to a doctor, not to some mega-god who is all knowing – he’s just a man with some training and experience.

In fairness to him, if you are depressed and it isn’t caused by ADD then it is important that he treats that as a priority. If it is caused by ADD and he’s on a wild goose chase with it then you need to have the ADD treated. Some antidepressants also act on ADD. If you can get him away from your sexuality you will be in business. Ask him why you should talk about it if he thinks you should. It’s just who you are and that is fine. I have gay and straight friends and none of them talk about it like it’s an issue, whatever their sexuality. Only people that have an issue with that aspect of their lives would go on and on about it? Or am I wrong? It’s just part of our makeup whatever sex we prefer. Be comfortable with yourself.

Re taking time out of Uni – if you can’t cope with it at the moment then that’s a good idea. If you’re feeling down then it can be a lonely place if you are feeling a bit introverted at the moment. On the other hand, it’s a great place to go to meet people and have a great time (as well as work hard!). If you don’t have a problem with making friends then maybe the change of scene would be good for you?? If you do go, try to make friends as quickly as possible.

Whatever you do, follow your heart.

Good luck.

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