Re: Poll: How do you support yourself financially?

[g.laiya]

well, i’ve worked at least part-time it seems most of my life, but never fully supporting myself, even when i worked full-time. always have had to have help from parents or husbands/fiances…

when i was a young adult if i wasn’t away for school i was living with my parents. until my mom told me a few months before turning 25 i could only stay there until my 25th birthday, so i’d better find a better paying job soon (at the time was working maybe half-time for my father but not in school). conveniently just weeks later met a man who asked me to move in just days after i met him – talk about a whirlwind romance! though i worked fulltime during much of that relationship, the money i made working in retail was peanuts – not nearly what i would have needed to live where we were living, drive what i was driving, eat where we were eating, travel where we were traveling,etc. a few years later, much to the relief of my parents, i asked to move back in til i could get my act together a bit (they hated this guy, especially my mom)

soon after, decided to go back to school with the goal of getting my dc., then i met my first husband, and i just worked part-time while in school , not really regularly – also had some money from school loans, so essentially he was supporting me while i was in school and for a while after too, until we got divorced.

didn’t get into a truly fulltime position, but did work 2 or 3 positions at the same time sometimes, sometimes continuing school parttime while working about 3/4 time…..did have a couple times i was in roommate situations, supposedly self-supporting, but used credit cards to fill in the gaps,so to speak, and wound up unable to pay those…

then met my current husband. in the beginning when it was just the 2 of us, we were contributing pretty equally to the household. but then there were also times i wasn’t working like maternity leave, that he was pretty much fully supporting us, as well as times i wasn’t working enough/making enough because the need or money wasn’t there on the part of my employers, and he had to bare much more of the financial burden. then there was about 1-2 years with him during which i was contributing at least as much, if not more, than he was towards our family’s expenses…and that was re-paid by him having a “midlife crisis”, having an affair, and in many ways (though not literally) abandoning me and our 2 kids. isn’t life ironic? but even then, he was the one responsible for getting the rent check in, getting all bills paid on time, etc., where as even when i was making fairly good money, i would lose track/pay bills late/get overdrawn/run out of money before next pay was due etc…..generally i continued to be , as my ex-husband would say, fiscally irresponsible.

now, again, i’m “under-employed/ under-earning” and he’s got all the pressure.

i’m hoping soon things will change for me, i’ll find a better job, get a separate independent biz going too,have better income, be able to make choices based on wants rather than need,etc….well, so we can both make choices based on what we want to do, not out of need, and not feel so much pressure/stress related to money.

because of my fiscal irresponsibility, procrastination, disorganization, and such, i have huge financial hurdles to contend with., including many years of back taxes owed, and student loan payments that, because interest has been capitalized all these years, would equal what some would pay for mortgage and car payments put together. yes, i’m in a really bad situation…..it is simply overwhelming and very depressing…..when i think about it….

tg my unemployment deferment finally came through for my student loans. i’ve been working on updating my resume/cv(albeit in bits and pieces), and last major unpleasant task i need to force myself to do – and soon! – is getting the rest of the info to the tax accountant so they can get things moving on that end……..DREAD that stuff !

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