The Forums › Forums › I Just Found Out! › Other › Needing to make others feel good at your own expense? › Reply To: Needing to make others feel good at your own expense?
@phoenixmagic, is saying yes too much the main thing affecting you? For me, I stopped saying yes to everything long before I knew I had ADD.
Not unrelated but slightly different is a habit I developed long ago of doing nice but totally unnecessary things for people without them asking, which might sound lovely, but which had the effect of adding to my overwhelm.
Far more destructive has been a lifelong caution about the feelings of others, not always expressing directly when something was bothering me or not wanting to upset or disturb people. I’m not talking about common courtesy or concern here. But taking extreme care, even agonizing at times, over how I would phrase a complaint or, more often, keeping my mouth shut about really troubling things.
Another “pleasing” problem that has plagued me, especially with my kids, has been the desire to provide them with some idealized vision of an experience (usually not a material thing) generally beyond their expectations, eating up tons of time and mental energy.
So, is saying yes too much the only problem facing any of you? Because, if that’s the case, you’re awfully lucky.
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