The Forums › Forums › For The Non-ADD › I Married An ADDer › ADHD husband won't consider treatment › Reply To: ADHD husband won't consider treatment
@Oddduck, ADHD does give you incredible strengths. The paradox is that it also gives you incredible weaknesses, so you need to learn how to work with both. It doesn’t matter how many talents you have, if you can’t use them. And relationships are a particularly tricky area.
Please read Melissa Orlov’s book, The ADHD Effect on Marriage (http://totallyaddshop.com/products/the-adhd-effect-on-marriage-understand-and-rebuild-your-relationship-in-six-steps-paperback#.UcHWXra9KSM).
It’s tremendously insightful, because it’s based on her own experience as a non-ADDer married to an ADDer. That relationship began so well, and evolved into the toxic situation that so many “ADHD mixed marriages” and relationships do.
On the verge of divorce, she and her husband realized they still had a choice: give up and walk away, or try something new: work together to try to get back the deep love they’d had when they first met. They resolved to try.
It was NOT easy, but they did it. And it worked.
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My own parents have an “ADHD mixed marriage”, and it’s been so toxic for so long, that it’s a nightmare. Their 50th anniversary is this summer, and they have insisted on NO celebration at all, because there is NOTHING to celebrate.
I was diagnosed with ADHD 3 years ago, and my brother and I know that I inherited it from Mom. But she has always refused to get a diagnosis…until now. Her appointment is in July.
What changed her mind? I think, as I’ve been sharing with her what I’ve been learning and how I’m growing since my diagnosis, she’s seeing that a diagnosis brings many things, including hope that things can and will get better.
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Melissa Orlov is the special guest at tonight’s free webinar, at 8:00 pm EDT.
Register in advance on the TotallyADD Webinars page, and do attend…with your husband, if possible. Tell him it’ll be fun…ALL of the TotallyADD webinars are fun. And you learn stuff, too (but you don’t have to tell him about that part).
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