Reply To: Finances…Yikes!!

[sdwa]

I’ve heard there is a thing called a budget that some people use to compare their income to their expenses, but creating one requires some organizing and tracking skill, and the ability to monitor where you are in relation to where you need to be. Or maybe that’s just a rumor. If it’s still on the site, there is supposed to be a webinar on ADHD and money.

All I can say about spouse interactions is that policing a spouse is not a good idea – and will also not work. When my husband nags me about my spending habits, I typically resent him, ignore him, hide or lie about what I spend, or passive-aggressively spend even more. No one likes a nag. (The resentment comes from the fact that he’s been unemployed for ten years, and we’re living on my income and blowing through my savings, but that’s a different issue.)

Ways to cut down on impulse spending that work for me:

Have a body double – a buddy with me – when I go shopping. Someone I’ve spoken to about my financial concerns, whose presence will remind me that I need to cool it if something I don’t need but am momentarily interested in catches my attention. Easier to walk away with a friend.

Going in with a list – anything not on the list gets ignored.

Knowing what I have in the house and where it is, so I don’t buy duplicates.

Not going into stores, especially the ones that tend to cause problems for me.

Not going into stores with my son who has ADHD, because we are a bad influence on each other.

Decluttering as an exercise usually shows me that I don’t need or want a lot of stuff.

Knowing why I want to spend the money. Is what I’m spending on going to give me what I want, or just the illusion of what I want? What is the need driving the decision? If it’s an emotional one, is there another way to get that need met?

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