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Thanks for your words and sharing your experience. I am not on top of things,I gave up on trying to be on top of things. life is uncontrollable, but I am doing he best I can, I think that we need to tell ourselves what we tell our children, our best is not going to be consistent every day, and that’s just the nature of things, this is true no matter who you are, neurotypical or not. And that’s ok.
When I talked about transitions being difficult I was thinking of big changes, but you are absolutely right, yes, there is the little transitions that are just as challenging. I have some of this difficulties you mentioned myself, I hate unannounced visitors, and I find it difficult to get back on track when something disruptive happens to me. My triggers are mostly emotional, I might be able to regroup form a distraction faster than from some difficult conversation. A few weeks ago I reacted to something a colleague at work said to me, granted, this is a renowned difficult person and by all standards I handled it well, yet while I asserted my boundaries and responded effectively, I had to leave the office and go somewhere safe to cry for ten minutes. It took me two weeks of spinning in all directions. talking with the therapist, and venting, ruminating, self soothing, to fully heal from the insensitivity I encountered. Sometimes I wish I had an armor, an emotional armor when i have to deal with the world.
So, getting distracted is one thing, but in my case, I think the emotional reactivity is what is he most devastating effects the long lasting setbacks, I have learned thousands of tricks to handle the disorganization, sometimes the tricks work better than at other times.Depends on what else is going on. I have learned it is a good thing to have some excuses handy for when you need to escape some situation. I know it would be ideal to get through it, but that is only an ideal, something to set as a direction, to lead the compass, not the ultimate goal. We don’t owe anyone else explanations, sometimes we owe people apologies and gratitude. We owe to ourselves to take care of our well being.
I try to treat myself as I treat my own children, with understanding, with love and with compassion. Its hard when we are aware of our challenges,one tends to fall into the trap of self blame, if perfectionistics nothing ever meets our standards, and our standards can be impossibly high, I tell myself as a mantra, ‘this is good enough’, save the highest standards for what truly matters to me.
Again thanks for your words. I hardly ever write or post on anything. Children going through perfectly artificial demands to perform and suffering be cause f that is something that triggers me, to see the pain where there should be just joy. Our children are amazing, they have amazing hearts, minds and souls, and these kids are suffering to meet perfectly artificial one size fits all standards and unrealistic expectations on what some people believe is what defines success in life. My kids are very intelligent according to the IQ charts, but what does that matter if instead of heeling them explore and enjoy the world, it only brings tears of frustration and feelings of inadequacy?
I want them to be good people, to make an effort to be happy, to get along with others, to be agents of change for good, to live life fully. There’s enough things in this world that are going to make them cry for just cause, homeworks or grades shouldn’t be one,yet so much is determined by a number, the whole system is flawed yet we can’t fully escape that it is a fact it has an impact on what opportunities they will have, career wise, so I have no easy solutions.
Anyway, here I am going on tangents, have an electronic hug and thanks for reaching out.
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