The Forums › Forums › For The Non-ADD › Other › Mom of 29 yr old ADD daughter needs advice! › Reply To: Mom of 29 yr old ADD daughter needs advice!
You are very right that your daughter must be responsible and take care of herself. And you can not take on all of her burdens.
However, if she has not been dealing with her ADHD all this time, has not had counselling/coaching or medication and does not have any coping strategies, she will need help to get there. And she will likely always need some level of support from you and others. That “crisis that could have easily been avoided” may seem that way to you, but that is not necessarily true for her. This is one of the things that causes people to discriminate against those with ADHD, because they do not understand that our reality is a little different from theirs. What seems simple and obvious to you may actually be very complicated and confusing to her. In order to avoid a crisis, you have to be able to see it coming, and people with ADHD often are not able to do that.
My advice is that you read up on ADHD and learn about how it affects your daughter. You can find lots of information right here that will help with that, as well as other online resources, so it’s fairly easy to do without having to spend a whole lot of time reading books. Identify what her issues are and then work with her to resolve them. You don’t have to get dragged into her crisis with her, but talk to her and say “okay, lets figure out how we can solve this problem and prevent it from happening again”. Help her but don’t do the work for her. And try to be patient and positive and avoid criticizing. Most of us don’t take criticism very well.
Feel free to post any questions or comments you have here and ask for advice any time. 🙂
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