ADHD and Gender Identity ??

[Gary]

Hi,

I’m looking for any information on the relationship between ADHD and Gender Identity Issues. I’m currently 55, and was diagnosed combined type ADHD 3 years ago subsequent to a diagnosis of major depression.

I’ve struggled with questions and issues around my gender all my life, and it now seems to me these must, in some way, all be entwined. I’m looking for any information, studies, resources, etc. as a starting point.

I’ve briefly discussed my gender questions with my psychiatrist of 3+ years, however haven’t pursued this as I’m not sure where to begin. I’m also a patient of an ADHD counselor, and have discussed this with her on several occasions, however gender issues are not her specialty.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

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[billd]

Gary, I would say that ADD isn’t necessarily related, I’ve never heard of them connected.

I DID see a question related to that on one of the tests I took under the neuro-psychologist, however, when I asked him about some of those questions, and how they related to ADD, his response was that they are NOT related to ADD – but ARE related to similar “conditions” that may mimic ADD, or go along with ADD, but are not caused by it, or directly related. The reason those questions were there, according to the neuro-psychologist was to RULE OUT other things that might be causing ADD-like symptoms.

Therefore, I’d personally conclude (NOT A PROFESSIONAL ANSWER!) that if you have gender doubts, it’s not because of ADD or related to, but that you’d have such doubts ADD or not in your life.

PERSONALLY, I would find someone who does know how to deal with such things. Since you say you have struggled with it pretty much all your life, then it’s not a fleeting thought like a lot of folks have.

If you want my free, unsolicited thought on it, call it “personal advice” if you wish, as it’s not professional, do see someone to talk with at a professional level – find a psychologist, psychiatrist, whatever, and deal with that gender ID issue – and DO tell them about the ADD and anything else, too. I’d expect that they would be the best bet, as they’d have worked with a lot of folks with gender identity questions or struggles, and could more accurately let you know any relationship with other “conditions”.

Good luck, There is no reason you should have to live with such questions for the rest of your life. You need to do what’s right for you so that you can continue to lead a happier more filled life. If that requires a resolution to this issue you face, then get the right assistance.

I really have no idea – is there such a thing as support groups for that area??

You seem like a person with a good head on your shoulders, pretty logical and together –

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[Gary]

Thanks Bill,

This was not easy to post, as it’s been something I’ve only shared with very few others – my wife, psychiatrist and therapist. My attempts to discuss this with them has not resolved anything, and leaves many more questions than answers- along with generous helpings of confusion, frustration …and fear.

I agree with you about any relationship between these two being coincidental and/or masking some other issue that mimics ADHD. While separate issues, they seem to play off one another, and my earliest childhood memories involve strong elements of both.

I guess I posted this out of desperation – to find resources, and/or others with these questions. Right now I need direction.

Yes, there are support groups locally, but I’ve not contacted them – I don’t know why other then perhaps cowardliness or fear.

Thanks for the reply…

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[Patte Rosebank]

Gary, gender issues are huge, because the most basic part of who we are, and how others see us, is what gender we are. This makes it an overwhelming issue for so many people. Unfortunately, there are also many people who refuse to accept that this is something you’re born with, not a choice you make, and those people often use their religion to justify attacking people who have gender issues.

I had quite a straightlaced upbringing, and that included regarding gay and transgendered people as freaks. But, when I was at university, I met many gay people and one fellow became one of my very best friends. We are truly kindred spirits. That opened my eyes to what a wonderful world there was out there. I became a real-life Victor-Victoria, and was in several of the big “DQ” (drag queen) revues, which were a great mix of gay, transgender, and straight people. We all worked together, and we all became friends, and it doesn’t matter at all what our gender or orientation is. And my parents and brother think that’s great!

Gary, please talk to some of those support groups in your area. It makes such a difference to talk to others who are going through (or have gone through) what you are going through, and to realize that you’re not alone. But be careful. There are some groups which claim to be support groups, but are actually run by people who claim to be able to “fix” you. Those are the ones to avoid, because they will only shame you and make you feel worse.

There’s one other issue that may be involved in your situation. Could it be that you were one of those people who were born a hermaphrodite, and the doctor made an arbitrary decision (without even telling your parents) that you had to be one gender or the other and made sure that you were? This issue has only recently come to light, and it’s mind-boggling to think of how many people have been affected by this practice (or malpractice).

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