Found Husband was taking my Adderall

[Anonymous]

I’ve been on Adderall for the past 10 years and its works great for me I take my 1 pill a day it has brought sanity to my chaotic world. My problem is about 2 years ago my husband discovered what Adderall can do. At first I didn’t noticed my missing pills because I was actually perscribed to take 2 a day as needed but I always only took 1. Then I started to noticed my perscription was running out a lot sooner than it should. I thought I was going crazy or that I was forgetting I took my pill and was taking 2. I had no idea what what happening until I realized my husband was stealing them. He started taking more and more I have a feeling but no way of proving this that at the height of his pill popping he was taking 3 to 4 a day. There were times where I had 60 pills but ran out of my meds and have to go 3 to 4 weeks before getting a new Rx. Once I discovered and got out of the denial stage of what exactly was happening I found what I thought were clever hiding spots or locking them up in a safe but he found every hiding spot and was able to get into the safe! So I decided I couldn’t deal with this behavior from him so I switched to Strattera well that medication did nothing for me. My work was suffering so I had no choice but to go back on Adderall. This time though I have been keeping it locked up at work and he has no access to it. The only downfall is I can’t bring any home on the weekends without the fear of him getting into it. So now I don’t get any weekend chores done my house looks like one on hoarders (minus the really gross stuff). Its so frustrating having to deal with this on top of the ADD. Just wondering if anyone else has had this issue with their family members and how you dealt with the situation. I know this really is more an issue my husband has then my issue but he thinks because he’s not taking the pills now (only because he has no access to them) that there is no problem and he doesn’t need help.

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[Anonymous]

Stealing your meds?!! If you were on heart medications or insulin dependent, would he steal those, too? I don’t even know what to say to this revelation (my first reaction was that you should be showing him the door and changing the locks). How is he otherwise? Please say that he has such other wonderful redeeming features that they actually overshadow the stealing.

What has he had to say for himself? Any remorse or is he just using you to get drugs?

Sorry to sound so hard but I really can’t fathom a ‘loving’ partner sinking so low to do this to you. Knowing the drugs were prescribed for YOU because you needed them and then taking them….that doesn’t leave much evidence to show that he cares about you and your well-being.

What do the rest of you have to say? I’ve known of doctors who stopped some children’s meds (I teach) because either mom or dad was dipping into them. Who is the biggest loser in that scenario? The child. He/she loses out while the offending parent is just the loser. In your case, you are losing out but your husband is the loser.

If your husband keeps stealing it when he can get at it and your MD finds out, you may not even be able to get what you need anymore. If your husband was to steal it from another person and they discovered who it was that had taken it, he would be arrested for theft! How does jail sound?

Exactly what has he got to say for himself?

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[Anonymous]

You know I’ve stopped asking the question, “Did you take your child’s/spouse’s medication?” I now simply say, “when you took your child’s / spouses medication, what did you feel?” I don’t give people the opportunity to lie. It is so common, it’s not funny.

“Er, how did you know? Yea, I felt pretty good.” is the standard response. It ‘s a signal that they need to be tested too.

Don’t be so hard on the guy ScatterKat. It’s common and there are other things worse he could be doing.

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[Anonymous]

ScatterKat, if I were in your position I’d look for a local Nar-Anon meeting. They could advise you better than I could and provide much-needed support. Good luck and good health to you!

Dr J, with all due respect, what ScatterKat’s husband is doing is illegal and dangerous. Adderall is a powerful stimulant and can be highly addictive in people who don’t really need it. Would you be as understanding if her husband was stealing her Oxycontin? If he really has ADD he needs to be evaluated and get his own legit prescription, preferably for something non-habit-forming. If he’s using it to get high, stay up all night, lose weight etc. that is DRUG ABUSE! It sounds like he’s built up a tolerance over time. You say “there are worse things he could be doing”. You’re right, and he may move on to those worse things when Adderall doesn’t do it for him anymore. That’s how addiction works.

Also she is SKIPPING her meds to keep her husband from stealing them! No patient should ever have to do that.

Maybe you don’t understand how important a clean house is to a woman. It’s unfair and shouldn’t be this way in the 21st century but in general, men’s poor housekeeping habits are often excused as “typical guy” behavior, while women with similar habits are looked down on as lazy slobs and considered to be lacking as wives and mothers, no matter who made the mess! My mom, who I believe is undiagnosed ADD, has struggled with housecleaning and organization her whole life. I am trying my best not to follow in her footsteps but it’s very difficult to unlearn 30+ years of bad habits. It would be almost impossible if I had to stop my Ritalin.

ScatterKat’s husband’s possible drug addiction AND the fact that it’s forcing her to skip much-needed meds are legitimate issues. Please do not minimize the importance of these issues.

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[Anonymous]

I don’t think Dr. J is minimizing the issue. It’s entirely possible that ScatterKat’s husband is also ADD. However, it is also possible that her husband has developed an addiction which complicates the situation, in that he’s self-medicating for some reason. Without knowing more about the situation, it’s not helpful to jump to conclusions about it and may even worsen the home situation.

It may be helpful to ScatterKat to keep in her purse or wallet just enough Adderall to keep her through each weekend; that way, she’ll be sure to be able to keep things up at home. A husband who dares enter his wife’s purse to take _anything_ is likely on a suicide mission anyway (LOL), and would only reveal the depth of his dependence.

What then? ScatterKat will need to decide how much to support her husband in his efforts to recover or, if he cannot or will not take steps to recover, what remains in her best interests and those of any children.

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[billd]

NiSidhe pretty much describes how I’d answer.

Besides all that has been said, meds are often prescription for some simple reasons – they can impact different folks differently. For example my wife takes meds for her heart – I’d never DREAM of taking even 1 for ANY reason – allergic reactions, reaction to something else I might take, eat or drink, etc. WOW, I’d be way to scared to take any prescription meds without a doctor knowing my full history.

A single pill could mean death in extreme cases.

I’m certainly not ready to die yet.

My wife has NO issues with me going through her purse, in fact, she often sends me there to get things for her, or something I need.

We’ve got 150% trust in both directions.

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[Curlymoe115]

Has Skatterkat noticed money being spent in cash a lot more then before. If he is an addict and his source has been cut off is he now buying these illegally. Or did he go to a doctor (or more then 1) and get a prescription for his own. It is not realistic to think that if he has been taking 3 or 4 a day that he quit cold turkey.

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[Patte Rosebank]

@ScatterKat, it is NOT just your husband’s issue. His behaviour is harming YOU, so it is very much YOUR issue too.

You MUST tell your doctor about this immediately. You must also have a very serious talk with your husband. Ideally, you and your doctor should confront him together.

At the very least, your husband has jeopardized your treatment, by stealing the medication that works for you, thus forcing you to abandon it in favour of one which does not work for you. Even though you have now switched back to Adderall, his repeated THEFT of it, and your worry about that THEFT, continue to jeopardize your own treatment.

Also, he is breaking the law.

Adderall is a stimulant; therefore, it is a controlled substance. And it is ILLEGAL to sell or give a controlled substance to someone it hasn’t been prescribed to. It is also ILLEGAL to have it in your possession if you are not the one it was prescribed to. If your husband were to be drug-tested, the Adderall would show up for its amphetamine content. If a police officer were to find any Adderall tablets in your husband’s possession, your husband would end up in jail on a narcotics charge.

Furthermore, your husband is showing classic addict behaviour, stealing your pills no matter where you hide them, and finding clever hiding places for his stash. This behaviour leads me to conclude that he is taking them for the stimulant effect, and not because he actually has ADHD.

By taking this illicit (and it is illicit if it’s not prescribed for him) drug, your husband is also risking his own health. Amphetamines raise the heart rate and blood pressure, and are also extremely dangerous if mixed with alcohol. Your husband could have a heart attack or stroke. And since your doctor is the one who prescribed those pills to you, he could wind up facing legal action or professional discipline if that did happen.

If you love your husband, you and your doctor must confront him with this and insist that he stop. Make it very clear that If this behaviour continues, then you will have no choice but to involve the police. And be prepared to do just that. Otherwise, you are allowing your husband to risk your health and his own life.

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[Anonymous]

Good point Curlymoe. And if he did quit cold-turkey that’s gotta be a hell of a withdrawal. I have a friend whose husband started taking Oxycontin after knee surgery. He’s no longer in any pain but his dr continues to give him refills, and those refills are no longer enough so he’s started buying from street dealers on top of that. His wife noticed money missing and confronted him. He refuses to get help, says he doesn’t have a problem etc. Very distressing situation.

NiSidhe, that’s true of most couples. But someone who has chosen to illegally take someone else’s Rx meds and find hiding places around the house for the stolen pills has crossed a boundary far more sacred than that of his wife’s purse. I am not drawing any conclusions, that’s why I’m using words like “may” or “possibly” here. I don’t know ScatterKat or her husband. He may not be addicted, he may have ADD and have a legitimate need to take Adderall. But if that’s the case he needs to be tested and get his own legitimate Rx.

Also I don’t mean to insult Dr J here. Dr J, I joined this site last night after watching “ADD and Loving It” on my local PBS station. I was very impressed and I think you’re great at what you do. But Skatterkat’s situation is one that needs to be taken seriously and when you say something like “Don’t be so hard on the guy” when the guy’s actions are illegal and possibly dangerous… that doesn’t sit right with me.

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[Anonymous]

in regards to: Dr J

“You know I’ve stopped asking the question, “Did you take your child’s/spouse’s medication?” I now simply say, “when you took your child’s / spouses medication, what did you feel?” I don’t give people the opportunity to lie. It is so common, it’s not funny.

“Er, how did you know? Yea, I felt pretty good.” is the standard response. It ‘s a signal that they need to be tested too.

Don’t be so hard on the guy ScatterKat. It’s common and there are other things worse he could be doing. ”

i disagree. this is a major issue. breaking into your safe and searcxhing all over fo someone elses Rx is addiction, it’s a signal that he needs an NA meeting, maybe rehab. not saying that he doesn’t need to be tested. but i know from my own struggle with addiction, if i knew it was in the house i’d find it..you want to see hyper focus ahaha!. the reason i participated in drug use (outside of Rx) is because “…yea, i felt pretty good.” it was really good. but the only way to survive situations like that are with support from those you love and those that love you. i think wat i am trying to say is just because it’s common than doesn’t mean it’s not a big deal. then again who knows what i am trying to say.

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[turbo]

Scatterkat-

I understand your concern, but perhaps it might be beneficial to ask a question or two of him before you proceed.

– what is he actually doing with it? taking it himself or selling it to others?

– If he takes it himself, is he taking the medication because it helps him or because he suspects he too might be an ADDer? If so, perhaps an appointment with a doctor might be more appropriate than hiding your medication.

Cheers!

turbo

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[Anonymous]

zorrocat, based on what Dr. J actually said on the whole, I don’t think he wasn’t taking it seriously at all.

He’s a doctor, he’s looking at it from a provider perspective, how common it is, and maybe try approaching it from a different tack (since ScatterKat’s anxiety about it is causing herself harm, she needs applicable advice, not legal outrage).

“Darnit, Jim! He’s a doctor, not a policeman!”

Doctor/Police. Those are two different hats. Doctors don’t go around looking for ways to pin crimes on people like coppers do. They also don’t go around being outraged at stuff like us laypeople do. They look for solutions. And after 4, 6, 8+ years of formal education, I sort of expect them not to react all “OMG!”

As for my opinion (because we all always seem to have one, heh) when I was reading this, I was thinking “Why isn’t he on his own medication on the up-and-up? Get him an appointment, too, if you share insurance.” I know it’s easier said than done. But that was my innate stance.

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[Anonymous]

Larynxa, I highly (HIGHLY) doubt a doctor who prescribes meds on a safe, cyclical schedule will get in trouble for something a patient allows a family member to do in their home.

Let’s not resort to anxiety inducing hyperbole–or personal responsibility reassignment.

By the way, I think the word “confront” is way over used. It’s such a menacing word. I do believe they should speak to the husband, but he should be presented matter-of-factly. “This is the situation–we all know–so let’s look for solutions.” Sort of like how Dr. J says he never asks anymore, he just presumes the answer.

When people come at me with the intentions to “confront” (which pre-works them up into an adversarial self-fulfilling prophesy) they’ve already got me looking for the door or ready to give them a verbal punch in the nose.

Alternatives:

“You should bring the grade error to the attention of your professor.”

As opposed to

“I really think you should confront her about that!”

“Have you tried broaching the dog-barking subject with your neighbor?”

As opposed to

“Try confronting your neighbor about that barking dog.”

“Let’s ask the waitress if they can deduct the cost of the dry cake.”

As opposed to

“When she comes over, I’m going to confront her about this bill.”

“In plain-speak, simply ask why your husband is distant lately. If he doesn’t want to talk, let him alone to mull it over. He may approach you on his own time knowing you’re not on his case.”

As opposed to

“You need to confront that son-of-a-bleeep!! And if he ain’t answering, you keep confronting ’til he does!”

When you think in terms of confronting people, it’s because you’ve got anxiety about a failed conversation that hasn’t even happened yet. And before you know it, you got the angry results you expected or you were unnecessarily mean to service people who have to take it.

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[Anonymous]

it is destiny! Just joined the site. Thought I would click on the meds forum and see what other people are taking and what has and hasnt worked for them. The topic came to my attention… my husband does the same thing .. I get prescribed 90 ritalin a month, and low and behold my script can be gone within 5 FIVE i mean FIVE days ugh. I also take ativan and zoloft which seem to get taken by him as well. We had a looong discussion about this. Even got online and looked up NA meetings. He said he would call … its been 3 weeks since i’ve suggested it. For awhile I wasnt even filling my meds, why the hell should I pay money every month for my husband to take it..?! I start school again come January 10th, and just got a new job that starts next week. I would bomb both without meds. My mother presented me with a rxlocker. (rxlocker.com if you wanna see what it is). Just filled my scripts and locked them up in this locker thing. Im hoping it works if not then i’m not sure what my alternative would be other than trying to get him in rehab. My heart goes out to you ScatterKat. Have a beautiful day everyone.

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[turbo]

Kammiee-

90 ritalin in 5 days? That’s serious.

When you talked to him about it, did he say if he was taking them or selling them?

Also, does he have any addiction issues in his past?

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[Author]

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