ADHD Diagnosis paradox

[Anonymous]

I think that I have ADHD, but I’m having a problem finding out for sure. I still live at home and I have to listen to my parents. My mom doesn’t think that ADHD is real, but to find out if I have it, I would have to get a diagnosis. But to do that, I would need her permission. I’ve taken lots of tests and scored high in all of them, so I think it’s worth checking out. What should I do?!

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[powcat]

are you in high school or college? maybe ask your guidance counsellor or the doctor/therapist at your college for help/information?

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[Anonymous]

I strongly recommend watching ADD and Loving it?! with your parrents; I will however warn you ahead of time that not all of it may relate to your “personality type” but emphisis is placed on the fact that people with ADD/ADHD are individuals. The main thing is to encourage your parrents to let you get tested so that you need not continue to suffer needlessly. Good luck

K

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[billd]

I must agree with both comments – the GC – contact them if available…… and suggest to your parents you have something you’d like them to watch with you and stress how important it is to you.

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[Anonymous]

I’m still in high school, but I have been home schooled ever since I was “expelled” from preschool.

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[Anonymous]

Mouse, have you ever considered sharing this website with your parrents? This might be a way to get them to look at AD/HD from a different light and get you the help you desire.

K

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[Anonymous]

I want to, but I am kind of scared. My mom gets frustrated with me when forget things or make mistakes in school because I overlooked simple details. She might think that I’m using ADD as an excuse.

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[turbo]

ADD is potentially the explanation, NOT an excuse.

No disrespect towards your parents, but fighting ignorance is an uphill battle. Arm yourself appropriately. I know when I first discussed the matter with my parents it was a nightmare. They were “stick their head in the sand” kind of people

If you do open a dialog with your parents, you might want to start by saying something like “you know, I’ve done a lot of reading and the medical professionals are quite clear that ADD has to do with the way a brain is ‘wired’ inside — it is not caused by weak morals or bad parenting which are old wives tales still being circulated today”. Science has also found genetic markers in DNA that have been CONCLUSIVELY linked to ADD which is another important point you can make.

It could be your parents will be defensive if they’ve heard the old wive’s tales themselves. In my case, BOTH my parents share many of the traits I have. They were, in part, being defensive because my bringing the subject up, and information into their household, meant they had to face the fact they too might have this issue.

It also might help to identify some very successful people who have coped with AND EXCELLED BECAUSE OF their adhd. People like Richard Branson, Mark Twain, John F Kennedy, Ronald Reagan, Princess Diana, Buzz Aldrin, Harrison Ford, etc…..

Read about it some more, relax and when the time is right start the dialog with them. It may also help to tackle the issue with one of them at a time. I also think the suggestion to watch the video alongside them is a good one.

Cheers!

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[Anonymous]

Mouse,

A big bump for ‘Turbo’ in that ignorance is major roadblock for us who have this disorder. In that ADHD is the explanation as to why we are the way we are is correct also as much as we don’t like or want to hear it, it is a double edged sword in that it isn’t an excuse or release us from our responsibilities at home or work.

Being a parent of an ADHD child offers and presents many challenges, especially when you are ADHD yourself but never knowing until years later. Parenting approach has to change to accommodate the child. The paradox in that is that the work place must do the exact same; accommodate and assist and support.

As for the diagnosis, only a skilled and experienced psychiatrist can make that call. In my case, there was a host of questionnaires were given to me, my wife and mother. Questions were asked of my employer and previous employers. There was about 20 hours of psychological testing (cognitive learning, memory and others). All this feedback was provided to the psychiatrist who after reviewing it over a week and in consultation with others made the diagnosis.

This was the turning point in my life and career. Now, after having a coach who gives me plenty of home work, reading, etc to keep me thinking, experiencing and learning all coupled with medication, my life and career have taken a very noticeable positive swing in the direction that it should have so many years before.

I sincerely hope that you decide to follow through with the doctors and specialist so that they can actually properly assess you and aid you. If you have ADHD, then its the best thing that, in my humble opinion, you can do for yourself. It will provide answers to the many ‘whys’ that you may be carrying around in your mind your at this time.

There are some reading materials that I would suggest that have helped and assisted me massive as well.

The Disorganized Mind – Nancy Ratey (a coach who is ADHD herself and her husband is a psychologist).

Living with ADD – M. Susan Roberts & Garad J. Jansen (a work book with exercises that will aid you in areas of challenge)

Let me know how you make out, I am so interested in others progress and stories because I know that my own has been such an ordeal that I want to be able to stand as a support to others.

Distracted66

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[Anonymous]

Mouse-Turbo makes an important point; ADD/ADHD can be a potential explanation rather than an excuse; It is easy to see how dialog can be daunting… try to be patient and understanding of your parrents; ADD/ADHD is hereditary and as you so astutely pointed out a paradox therefore more likely to create misunderstandings rather than under-standings.Try to base dialog on “neutral ground” by asking about relitives that you “remind them of.” Perhaps you know of relatives who are “like you” that is to say, share similar personality traits such as forgetfullness. Who knows your parrents may have ADD/ADHD and either don’t know it or is trying to hide it. At any rate, your parrents must come to terms that they are not “bad parrents” but you have a condition that needs to be treated so that you can lead a happier more successful life. It is important for them to become familiar with the content of this website.

I have a sister and brother-in-law that has untereated ADD/ADHD as well as niece and nephew with the disorder only one however was diagnosed and treated because it affected school performance whereas like me they managed to “get by.” We some how need to make them excepting of this situation for our sake and theirs. So I have a vested interest in your success since ultimately I face the same challange shareing this website with them. Good luck!

K.

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[Anonymous]

mouse,

I hope I did not offend you…

K

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[Anonymous]

Kazou,

Don’t worry, i’m not offended. I talked to my mom about ADD. She agreed to look into it and now we’re working towards solutions. Thanks for the advice!

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[Anonymous]

Mouse,

I am glad to hear that you not only are not offended but you now have your mother working with you for a resolution. Two good pieces of material that will help bring your delemma home to her is the ADD and Loving It?! DVD and Rick Green’s DVD on organization strategies. The latter really works well I wave used some of his ideas for years. Both DVDs can be found at the TotallyAdd.com Store.

Now that you got her support it now is a good time to bring her to understanding, about your challenges many of the presenters on ADD and Loving it?! not only are Dr.s and of course entertainers but they too live with the disorder so she will not only get a professional point of view but also a personal one as well. A third point of view is the one not said but understood it is possible to suceed in life inspite of ADD/ADHD.

It does my heart good to know that there is someone out there that will need to wait decades to treat a condition that when controled can open a world of wonder but left untreated… can as you personally know… devestating.

So! congradulations on geting your mothers support ; please keep me advised on your progress won’t you?

K

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[Anonymous]

Mouse11, I don’t know where you live, and laws differ depending on where, but there is something you should know.

At some point, doctors really WANT children to be able to speak to them about things, without their parents. Issues related to sex, pregnancy, drug abuse, and more importantly, abuse and neglect are subjects almost NO kid will talk about with their doctor if their parents are aware of the discussion.

Have you thought about calling your doctor on your own? It is possible the doctor may be able to at the very least, talk to you and tell you what he/she can and cannot do with or without your parent’s knowledge. I know there’s not much they can do without it, but there are things they can. If you have a real condition, and your parents won’t do anything about it, depending on what the condition is, there are sometimes things the doctors can do.

I’m NOT suggesting you do things that might drive a wedge between you and your parents. I don’t know what your relationship with them is like, but if it is fairly healthy, I would want you to be careful.

Your best bet is to keep talking to them about it, AND talk to any counselors, doctors, teachers, and whoever else you can.

And keep one other thing in mind. You may not have ADHD. A lot of people think they do when they first learn about it, but don’t.

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[Author]

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