41, Male and pretty sure I'm ADD but little medical help in UK Please HELP

[Anonymous]

Hello,

I believe I have ADD and have had all my life, I think I may have what I’ve read as “high functioning” making my diagnosis more complicated as virtually everyone thinks I’m making excuses and not really ADD but my secret is that all through my life in everything I’ve done my behaviour has been erratic and at 41 my professional life has been very difficult due to memory lapses, simple mistakes and not being able to tolerate certain individuals in the work place. My first report cards would say ‘doesn’t sit down’, ‘would do better if he concentrated’ etc and things are complicated by my childhood as I believe both my parents suffered from autistic range disorders and had little time or sympathy for myself or my brother. I am certain I have the ADD bit and not the ‘H’ bit but there some to be a dearth of help in the UK, online I did the Harvard medical school ADHD test for MD’s and scored very high for AD 33/36 and middle for some HD bits (and that was mostly behavioural from my youth). My son who is 10, has aspergers diagnosed from a young age and this has helped me understand and make some sense of both his difficulties and mine. I have had a history of alcohol and drug dependency and only recent realised that it was to calm me, help me sleep and mainly to slow my brain down. It races at times especially at night making sleep very difficult and can lead to deep dark depression feelings of sadness amongst others. To give some examples I feel my life is full of paradox – I work better with a handover as it doesn’t cloud my thinking, yet when compleley lucid I make mistakes. I am retired Police Officer through injury and found that In that high stress situations I have performed wel, always throwing myself in front of ullets so to speak and won several bravery awards for saving children and adults. All outwith normal comfort levels yet for me it was the easiest thing in the world and not at all brave. However, I could forget simple things that made others think I was rather stupid and shake their head. As an example, I found during my university degrees I was a stick on a first class and the medal for top student in my undergrad but went to pieces in the dissertation due to it’s unstructured nature and ended up finishing 5th and with an upper 2nd (not bad but I harbour the disappointment some 5 years on). When I looked back at my behaviour and habits I could see a pattern of running away from myself. I played football and was considered very promising however the minute I realised people were watching I went to pieces and was worse than man short. Every job I have had I have struggled to maintain interest, to function and to concentrate and have often been perceived a s lazy in appraisals when I am far from it, just simple things bore me and I need constant stimulation it seems, yet I need calm, quiet and rest and suffer panic attacks virtually daily and often one after another. I went to see a Psychiatrist who didn’t think anything was wrong other than seeing Psychology to ‘talk’ but I had been warned that he didn’t believe in ADHD?!?! I was devastated and still think back, something I have read that sufferers of ADD do, they, we harbour past mistakes or disappointments. I try not to do this but a racing mind won’t give me peace sometimes. I sometimes lie awake and my mind will fill the void to a horrid feeling of losing one of my children or my wife and that I’m being a poor father and it drives me mad. The Doctor asked what I might do if I didn’t get a diagnosis and I said probably eventually end my life BUT I’m not unhappy, I love my wife dearly and my children are the light of my life and my reason for being but this is driving me to my wits end. I partook in the amphetamine Speed when I was young and found that everything made sense, I could function normally and fulfill my potential but the after-effects were awful. Normally, day to day it is so hard as I know I am capable of great things yet cannot do most of them as my brain doesn’t work or fire correctly. Sorry this so long, first time I’ve expressed things but unsure what I can do, whether medication is right. I think Psycology might help as she has an interest in ADHD in adults but also feel I have talked about this for so long thinking my problems related to my relationship or lack thereof with my late father and that I need help not to talk about it. As I say the epiphany was realising I’m running from myself half the time as I’m so frustrated by my ability but lack of access to it – and so any help, advice or chat is most welcome.

Kind Regards

AM

I hope none of this sounds like I’m boasting as it couldn’t be further from the truth.

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[Tiddler]

Hiya

I can really relate to what you’re saying. I was a first class student too. I lost my dissertation and spent a very scary night thnking it was gone for ever. I finished one point away from a first after failing a section that involved working with other people, none of whom liked me and refused to meet up with me. The tutors couldn’t care less and just failed me on it.

I have had trouble findinng help here. Have a look at aadduk. http://aadduk.org/ There’s a section on professionals who declare in interest in adult add. I paid privately to see someone and it was very helpful, but then there was a several month waiting list on the NHS to get help – and I’m still waiting because so few practitioners will prescribe meds. (They’re not licensed for adults apart from one med. I forget which one. STarts with an M I think.)

Rushing, but wanted to say hi and you’re not alone.

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[Anonymous]

Hi Tiddler, thanks for taking the time to reply and also for the info, waiting list is indeed long here – I think at least a year for Psychology (Psychiatry have discharged me after one 30min assessment saying nothings wrong) but anyway, I’ll try that site just now. I just wish the UK was more like North America where it’s taken seriously!

Take care buddy

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[Anonymous]

dude, I saw a tv show about ADD and after that I was 100% positive I had it. At first when I saw the psychiatrist he scoffed at me and thought I was trying to scam him for the meds. You can always have the psychological tests done if you pay for them. All this info is available to research on the internet. Anyways he had me do this little 60 second test and told me I didn’t have it, blah, blah, blah. So I kept seeing him and after a few visits he comes out and tells ME that I have ADD and he wants me to start medication for it !!!!! Quite a switch. Dr’s cannot tell from a 30 minute test if you have it in my opinion. You have to fight for it bro’, amass data, evidence, examples, test results, just keep at it man. That’s what I was prepared to do, I was not going to go untreated by our medical system here, I pay taxes and I have A RIGHT to equal medical care. Get the psychological test results and go back and confront the Dr. with the evidence, If you have it as you say you do then justice will prevail and you will be successful, over and out

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[Anonymous]

Cheers Shoot, I appreciate the support, fight I will but as you will no doubt know, when ‘we’ set our minds to something Nothing can stop us!!

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[Tiddler]

Good luck with the search, timnicebut (Harry reference there? Love him.)

I think I paid £170 for my assessment, which included a full report. I was seen more or less straight away. I would have been able to get treatment straight away if I could have afforded it and was prepared to travel. If you have enough money for a private assessment, it may speed things up for you.

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[Tiddler]

Great post, shootingallery

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[Anonymous]

Yeah Tiddler – “Timnicebut” is my online moniker for lots of things and was followed by “slim” but I lost weight and dropped the ‘slim’ bit, ‘Tim’ as I’m a Celtic fan is meant to be pseudo ironic..or whatever that would be

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[Anonymous]

Hi timnicebut….

I am also in the UK, male and same age. Diagnosed combined type just a few months ago. Can certainly relate to your struggles. Sorry to hear about the panic attacks, I’ve had real awful trouble with those too, much better now but still rear up sometimes. It is really frustrating that we are so far behind here, everything is just so damn hard and SLOW! But we are fortunate to have a few good doctors here.

Are you sure about the hyper side ? Just have to mention it because I didn’t realise I was 😆 Took me a long time to slowly accept it, even now I suddenly recall things that make me chuckle to myself. Now that I hang out with others who ‘get it’ they quite often say ‘you’re getting pretty hyper, have you forgotten to take your meds again?’, and indeed I have done just that 🙄 Seen this happen with others too. The medications can often help people see their symptoms with more clarity. But it takes time to adjust, if you have lived like that for 4 decades

I have found the support groups very useful. Nice to not feel alone facing all this. We can also learn a lot from mixing with others with ADHD. Depending where you live you might have a journey, but I’d recommend trying some. Most are quite relaxed, just meet up somewhere for coffee/beer, chat and have a laugh. We help each other, and that is benifical in both directions Nice to have some ADHD friends to support you through the tough bits 😉

Hope to see you sometime.. I’m usually about in London and the South East.

Don’t give up ! (I felt like that recently – glad I had a good ADHD friend to keep me fighting it)

😉

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[Anonymous]

Hi Roker,

Thanks ever so much for getting in touch, I really have appreciated ever single comment and yours as many are very perceptive and helpful. I may well have the ‘hyper’ bit but i may manage to subdue it with alcohol or painkillers, I can sometimes get a kind of ‘second wind’ and run about and start tidying the house at odd hours. So the racing mind can cause me to blurt stuff out, the test I’ve done show character traits that I’ve learnt to identify and subdue, so maybe it is hypre the more I think. I know that with the correct treatment I will be fine and that may in turn stop the panic attacks that come on from a thought or inside question of ‘what if??’ or’what do I do here?’ but getting there is unbelievably difficult. Indeed I believe with proper diagnosis and treatment for thousands of children and adults we could save many a life from being wasted or sadly lost and even a fortune nationally at the same time as asnwer a lot of societies problems as thro my own experiences in the Police the ‘naughty child’ sticker that poor wee souls are often labeled with, and that causes many folk to just accept they are worthless and trouble as they’ve been written off by teachers, Policemen, courts and the government, may well all just be undiagnosed autistic spectrum disorders. Prisons must be full with folk who don’t need to be there or would never have followed their lifestyles if the prehistoric medical profession had looked at this properly 20-30 years ago. My own brother in law, (I hate saying this) is a bit of a hopeless case and has spend a year out of the last 2 in jail for alcohol related trouble. Nothing major just he can’t handle it. He drinks to mask his problems and won’t admit it hence the ‘hopeless’ part, I wish he would listen to help but he can’t or won’t open his mind to the question ‘why??’ I shouldn’t judge too much as it was only a year ago after my dear dear wife threatened to leave me for drinking that I thought long and hard about that very point – why? and the more I though, the further back I went i realised I’m running from myself and always have been. I got to thinking that no matter what I did or where I’d always been, I would be my harshest and most brutal critic and until I addressed the root cause nothing else matters/ed. Anyway, I live in Scotland although was a cop in the Met years ago and still have a few friends so maybe one day we’ll meet,. Out of interest what medication do you get/take and is it from your GP or a clincian? and how much of a difference do you feel it makes? Thanks once again, it is nice for you to take the time to reply and for me to know I’m not alone and there is support from all parts of this wonderful world of ours

Kind Regards

AM

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[Anonymous]

Hi, sorry I’m a bit pushed for time at the mo but…

Adult ADD UK has a really good section on how to get help in the UK.

Unfortunately it is usually extremely slow (years) and can be a tough fight to get in a room with the right doctor. You need to gather all the info and push your case firmly yet politely.

Many just can’t wait that long so turn to the private sector, which is very fast. But then you need to transistion back to the NHS… Sometimes this can be quite easy, but sometimes not !

Medication – wow big questions… There is some great info on this site about meds (mostly the same in the UK) The stuff in the webinars is great (you might need to watch it more than once though)

Improvement mainly comes from learning, accepting and adjusting – meds can really help this – (emotionally very hard, so take care)

You are VERY lucky to have a family (many of us have nobody) that will help you through, and make it all worthwhile

Alcohol + ADHD is bad news, it can easily destroy everything – withdrawl is horrid and dangerous too

If you feel up to it, maybe make a start on the books, they will help a lot.

If you are down in London anytime, the Central London Support Group is the 1st Tuesday of the month 7-9pm at Costa Coffee in Argyll Street, round the corner from Oxford Circus tube station. The strange but nice people at the back Some decamp to the pub over the road, after the coffee. Nothing formal, just chat, try to help each other and have a laugh.

Take Care 😉

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[Anonymous]

Have you thought of contacting your local member of parliament in the UK. It sometimes very effective in the US and to a lesser extent in Canada.

I know battling socialized medicine can be extraordinarily painful. The wait time is unacceptable. wait times in some cases costs lives. ADHD has a huge impact on quality of life, ability to compete in school, ability to find employment and the impact on personal relationships. Socialized medicine can not keep up demand because decisions on resources are political and it creates a mediocre health care system

I was diagnosed with ADD in Nov 2011 and the difference in my quality of life is remarkable. Unfortunately it only took 40 years for me to get an accurate diagnosis.

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[Anonymous]

hello again, sorry for the delay but a mix-up with my password kept me from getting on the site. Go to a Canadian website

http://www.caddac.com or ca or org or something like that. They have a whole bunch of professional tests that you can self- administer or get a

spouse or parent to do, this should give you a pretty good idea of where you’re at. The meds are amphetamines but they actually calm you

down and you can’t/don’t get high off them. My big thing was impatience, either in line-ups (freaking out) and road rage !!!! plus inability to

concentrate. Meds, Concerta 36mg have been a huge help, let me know how you make out

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[Anonymous]

hello again, sorry for the delay but a mix-up with my password kept me from getting on the site. Go to a Canadian website

http://www.caddac.com or ca or org or something like that. They have a whole bunch of professional tests that you can self- administer or get a

spouse or parent to do, this should give you a pretty good idea of where you’re at. The meds are amphetamines but they actually calm you

down and you can’t/don’t get high off them. My big thing was impatience, either in line-ups (freaking out) and road rage !!!! plus inability to

concentrate. Meds, Concerta 36mg have been a huge help, let me know how you make out

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[Scattybird]

Hi timnicebut,

I haven’t read the whole thread so apologies if I’ve got this wrong.

If you’re in the UK then Google ‘Mental Health Clinic’. Then you can follow up the link if you wish. It will cost £750-£800 for a diagnosis. Can recommend.

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[Author]

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